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Places Not to Pick Up Women

23 Jul

Early in the new year is a great time for men to get women because we have extra money from tax returns, women are focused on losing weight for their resolutions, and it’s cold … which makes women want to snuggle.  Now is as good a time as any to know where not to try your hand at securing a lady friend for the last part of the winter season.


*Approaching women can be difficult and anxiety-filled for men. Men have to be decent looking, which is out of their control and due exclusively to genetics. They need to be well-groomed, a trait that often goes ignored. Men have to be charming enough to attract a woman. And finally, if a woman is actually interested in a guy and talks to him, then that man has to refrain from saying something that breaks the whole deal. Talking to women is hard, but there are places where a man stands no chance getting the girl.

1. On a plane – The good thing about meeting a woman in an airport is that you know that you have traveling in common, and you have a conversation piece readily available (Where are you headed and why?).  An airport is the perfect place for a chance encounter. An airplane seems like a reasonable place too. Aboard an airplane, you have a destination in common and a place for intimate conversation. Ironically, these are some of the many reasons why you should never hit on a woman in a plane. What you think is the intimacy of a quiet conversation on a plane is actually a trap that she cannot escape until the plane lands. Being on a plane forces her into situation where she has to either be cordial and talk to you against her will or be rude to you. If she is particularly unimpressed by you, she may choose the latter option.

2. On an elevator – Similarly to being stuck on a plane, a forced conversation on an elevator feels like a trap to women. Never make your first advance on a woman in an elevator. In addition to being stuck with you in a room, she is also in cramped quarters. If you talk loudly enough in a crowded elevator to get her attention, then you are ignoring elevator etiquette, possibly embarrassing her, and you look like a jerk. If you move close to her and talk at the appropriate level, then you are violating her personal space and probably making her uncomfortable. Elevators are only to be used for changing floors, not romance.

3. In a strip clubs – You are in a sex-charged atmosphere. Women, sans clothes, are talking to you and possibly grinding against you. You have had a few drinks, you are a little tipsy, and you are feeling great.  She looks good, she smells good, and she keeps smiling. She has to be attracted to you, right? Wrong. She is not interested in you. She is interested in your money. Everything that you see is a fantasy. The lights are dim so that you cannot see all her imperfections, and you have your beer goggles on. She is not dancing for you for free. You are paying for her time and affection. Oh, and the affection is not real either. She is smiling at herself in the mirror.

strip club06They are not gay, and they are not interested in you.

4. In groups of three or more – In most other cases, if a woman thinks that you are attractive, then she will be receptive to you despite any outlying factors. In groups of three women or more, she will not talk to you. When in groups, women want your attention, but not your advances. There is no specific logic behind this behavior. Scientists have studied this phenomena for years and are still puzzled by it. Women will dress in their most flimsy, provocative dresses, interact suggestively, and shoot down every man that approaches them. Even if one of the girls is attracted to a guy, the others will complain that it is a “girl’s night out” and block any chance of a hookup. Once he leaves dejected, they give him a horrible nickname like” the Unibrowber” and laugh at him for the rest of the night. The meaner girls call him the name to his face. Stay away from women in groups of three or more.

5. Unemployment office – This should go without saying, but if you meet a woman in the unemployment office and she does not work there, then she does not have a job. She is there to find a job. Unless you are assisting her with her unemployment, your presence in that office tells her that you do not have a job either. Poor people should not be allowed to make advances on other poor people. All this leads to, is babies and welfare. There are not a lot of things that two poor people can do together. Going out to eat costs money, so fine dining is not an option. Entertaining a date costs more money than eating at a restaurant and often involves dinner too. The only activity that two people can do together that does not cost you financially is not an option with most women if you do not have money. And, it could lead you to the next place that you should never talk to a woman…

6. Health Clinic – If you go to a health clinic there are two assumptions that will automatically made about you; you are poor and you have a sexually transmitted disease. Wealthy people do not go to clinics. They have personal doctors that are paid through insurance premiums and they get specialized care. Clinics are for the general public that cannot afford insurance. People that are sick and without insurance go to hospitals to attain medical care. Coughing, sneezing, wheezing, bleeding, and vomiting uncontrollably are all reasons to call an ambulance and seek counsel from an emergency room doctor. People only go to clinics when they have that itchy, burning, seeping rash in their crotch. Even if you approached a woman in a health clinic, any sane woman would be too anxious with their own problems to listen to you, and disgusted by you hitting on her in your disease-infested state.

7. Fast food restaurant – Nothing says “I’m cheap or poor.”, better than a No. 2 with cheese. And, even though she is eating there too, a double standard exists. The only exception to this rule is if you work downtown, are eating in a place close to your job, have to return soon, and are in a suit. And you still look like a tool.


Places that Surprisingly Are Decent Places to Meet Women

1. Grocery store – You catch them off guard here. They are there with a purpose and probably not paying a lot of attention to you. They did not put on make up or nice clothes because it was supposed to be a short trip. With a brief, interesting conversation and a few well-placed compliments, you can impress a woman and set up a date for later.

picking up women - funeral03

2. Funeral – A big misconception about funerals is that everyone attending knew the deceased well and is mourning. Some people actually go to represent their branch of the family and some are just paying their respects to people with whom they worked. After a funeral, there is generally a get-together where socializing is appropriate. So, make your move there. But, if she is grieving and needs comforting, you are just the guy to soothe her.

3. Church – She thinks that you are wholesome and at least trying to do the right thing morally. Silly girl.

*Of course if a woman really wants to talk to you, then everything mentioned in this article is a moot point. If she gives you obvious signs of interest, listen more than you talk, smile, and don’t say anything stupid.

One Response to “Places Not to Pick Up Women”

  1. Shaunte January 24, 2013 at 11:30 PM #

    I have a reply for the reason why men have a hard time picking up a girl when she is in a group of 3 or more.
    Simple fact is it’s as if we are on a date with a man, no we don’t have to be into women, however we do dress up for each other just as much if not more than we would a man. We worry more about how we look when going out with other female friends. When in a group our confidence goes up and the better we look as a group the more confident we are. We really are not out to pick up on guys or for guys to hit on us, even if the women are showing almost every crevice of her body they are doing this for the women they are out with. So it literally is like we are out on a date with a man. No that doesn’t mean we have to be bi or lesbian, we can be the straightest person you could ever meet, but we are still dressing for eachother. We are trying to impress one another and the larger the group the more pressure we have to be the impressor in the group. It’s almost like who ever is the best looking that night is the alpha for the night and the rest will follow. Or it’s a group of alphas who are not competing because we accept that we are all in the same category and therefor makes the group that much stronger making it that much harder for a man to try and enter the group. For a woman to impress a man is easy and we know this, women are a lot harder to impress and therefor it’s a challenge that all women regardless if she admits it or not try’s to accomplish. And the more women a female can impress the more power she has in herself. For example the dance scene in Dusk Before Dawn with Selma Hayek any man regardless of what he is into will be in a trance during that scene, and any woman (any woman) will be hypnotized as well and I don’t care if she admits if or not. It’s a power some women have but all want, to have that power not just over men but over other women as well. Some will abuse it for selfish reasons against men and women but for an honest use of that power is that it simply gives us confidence in ourselves and we will not abuse it. Again regardless of what any woman says we all consciously or subconsciously are in that frame of mind when in a group of females and when in the group it really has nothing to do with men they are just in the background. I hope this helps men understand and know it honestly has nothing to do with you or against you guys, it’s simply the female pack mentality we get into in groups.

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