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Why Won’t He Commit

19 Oct

reasons he will not commit

This article was originally submitted on February 27, 2011. Because of the response from our readers, we have resubmitted this article for our readers. Enjoy.

He always says all the right things to you. He is kind, patient, and responsible. More so, the two of you have fun together. You talk about any and everything to him. He is your lover and your best friend. This guy seems like he could be your soul mate, but he will not make a commitment to you. These are the top reasons why a man will not take your relationship to the next level, in no particular order.

1. He has emotional baggage - Guys have emotions too. Your boyfriend may have had a terrible experience in a relationship before the two of you met. Emotional scars from past dalliances can affect your present relationship. One of the first steps to finding resolution with a difficult break-up is him openly communicating his feelings about the split to someone that he trusts. Men seldom talk to anyone about their feelings, regardless of how painful those emotions may be.  Often, a man’s girlfriend is his only connection to emoting regularly.If you convince him to share his experiences, preferably have someone other than you converse with him. While you may be fully invested in this relationship, you may not be capable of hearing in vivid detail what connected him to another woman.

2. You have emotional baggage - You have had a string of bad relationships over the last year and your faith in men has dwindled steadily since then. There is an emotional wall that protects your feelings from the pain and mistrust that you have received from men, but it also guards against genuine affection from the right man. Men are also more intuitive than they are perceived to be. If you are keeping a part of yourself from him, then he will not commit. He will guard his heart as adamantly as you have been guarding yours. Communication is once again the answer. So, tell him that you are protective of your heart, find a friend that you trust with your darkest secrets, and open up about your difficulties with dating.

3. He is too immature - Before a man can commit, he has to grow up. An immature guy will never marry you because you are not his priority. His priority is his special car, new video games, old “bromances”, or himself. With an immature guy you represent a luxury, not a necessity. Leave the frat boy alone immediately. You can not force him to treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.

4. He is not ready financially - Financial stability will make or break your relationship. Over half of all marriages end in divorce. Well over 70% of divorces are caused by couples falling on hard financial times. The inability to pay bills on time or possibly being evicted from your home places a great deal of stress on couples. When your basic needs are going unmet, relationships tend struggle. If your man clearly tells you that he is not stable enough financially to support your relationship, either trust him and wait while he builds his credit and finds another job, get another job to help with bills, or find a new man altogether.

5. He wants to play the field - Whether he has had a minimum amount of partners and wants to get a little more experience, or he thinks that he is “too much man for one woman,” you should distance yourself from this guy. Unfortunately, this type of behavior is a byproduct of immaturity, and in either situation, you lose. If he honestly needs to date other women because he was not exposed to different women prior to meeting you, then you have to come to terms with the fact that someone that you hold dear, may find someone else. In parallel, you have to accept the fact that the same person that you care for immensely, did not fully appreciate  the scope of your relationship. If you are dating the egotistical, “weigh his options guy,” then you have misjudged the character of a man in which you have invested time and emotion. The best solution is abstraction.

6. You are crazy - A man will not commit to a woman that is completely, mentally unstable. If you are manic-depressive, bipolar, or schizophrenic and medicated, then you should keep taking your medicine. If you are not medicated and just utterly irrational, then you should consider therapy and possibly becoming medicated. Men do not enjoy arguing. Men do not enjoy crying. Men do not enjoy arguing and crying with their women. If you can not talk to your significant other without breaking into tears or a fit of rage, then seek help.

7. You are lame - You never go out anymore. You dress poorly now, too. The two of you seem like an old married couple, more like roommates than lovers. Instead dressing well and spending nights out on the town, you spend nights watching the newscast in your sweatpants. You ask, “What’s wrong?” constantly. Nothing is wrong, except that he is going to bang his head against a wall until it is a bloody pulp if you ask him that question again. Where is the fun girl that he met out clubbing with his friends? Where is the girl that rode with him to Atlantic City on a whim? If you find her, you may find an engagement ring too. Men are unintentionally expected to be the entertainment for their relationships. In most pairings, the guy has to bring the excitement and enthusiasm with him. Women that are equally engaging find husbands.

8. He is not the one - You met in college and he was awesome. The two of you like all the same things, you finish each others sentences, and the last two years have flown by quickly. Slowly, you start to feel a slight disinterest in working out the tawdry problems that arise in your relationship. In fact, you have become slightly disinterested in him. Similarly, he has checked out of the romance emotionally. On paper, everything matches perfectly, but in reality your bond has weakened significantly. Relationships all work in theory if people are willing to compromise. However, some people are not compatible despite having the same passions.

Best Drug Dealers in Film

18 Oct

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Honorable Mention:

Ronald Reagan - Okay, Reagan is not a fictional character like the rest of these characters, but he was an actor, and when he opened the Panama Canal, he became one of the biggest American drug dealers in history.

50 Cent - This Curtis Jackson guy is completely fictional like the rest of the men who will be mentioned on this list. Being shot nine times does not make you a drug dealer. Being shot nine times means you pissed off the wrong guy.

 breaking bad - heisenberg02

The List:

Walter White/Heisenberg – Breaking Bad

Mr. White was a chemist turned chemistry teacher turned meth cook. This had to come from TV land. But, his character was nuanced and dynamic. This soft, loving father of two became a self-serving monster over the course of the full series. Cancer pushed him into providing for his family illegally, but Walter had been disparaged long before he started selling. A life full of disappointments, unfulfilled potential, and random coincidence led him to his unlikely start in the drug game, but he used his knowledge of chemicals to provide a superior product to his buyers, earned millions of dollars, and eventually worked his way into being a drug boss. But, his success in the drug game led him into a destructive individual quest for power and recognition.

 

Johnny Tapia – Bad Boys II

Tapia was the biggest drug dealer in Miami. His ecstasy ring was responsible for millions of dollars of revenue in the greater Florida area, and his interests stretched from money laundering to counterfeiting to murder. Johnny Tapia was willing to put down anyone who stood in his way including his own family. He was completely neurotic and he used everyone, including the KKK to push his products across the area.

 

Stringer Bell – The Wire

Stringer Bell was one of the most calculated criminals on this list. He and a childhood friend built a drug empire that entrenched itself in the heart of the Baltimore housing projects in the inner city. They strong-armed rival crews, they hid their business in the Carter City projects, and they killed anyone from those projects who claimed that they would testify against them. And while Avon Barksdale, his childhood friend was locked up on drug charges, Stringer streamlined the company and made it more profitable with less risk for himself and his lieutenants. He hoped to get out of drug dealing altogether. Stringer took economics courses at Baltimore City Community College to further his knowledge of money and how to acquire more, and he reached out to local politicians in an effort to legitimize his drug money into an entity that could stand on its own merit. Stringer was cerebral, but he was also ruthless. He had one of his subordinates killed while he was in prison, made it look like a suicide, and went to his house and comforted his mother after the death. He organized the second arrest of Avon Barksdale after they could agree to terms on how the business should be run.

drug dealer - layer cake

XXXX – Layer Cake

Though we never learned his official name, XXXX was one of the most calculated drug dealers on this list. He was intelligent and charming. His attitude was polite and effusive. Though he was a criminal, XXXX seemed like he was just a good human being caught in a unique circumstance. Viewers could picture themselves as him, a middle man in a lucrative drug-trafficking business who never wanted to get his hands dirty.

 

Tuco Salamanca – Breaking Bad

Anyone who has ever lived in a bad neighborhood knows a Tuco Salamanca. Tuco was completely unstable. He was so crazy that anyone, including his crew members, could fall into the path of his wrath for almost any offense. He ruled through fear, but was loyal to those above him and extremely intuitive with his business matters. He knew when to attack the competition, when to play nice with others, and when to go into hiding to avoid prison time. He would rob, beat, or kill anyone who stood in his way and he punished anyone for any perceived slight.

 

Gustavo Fring – Breaking Bad

Gus Fring was an affluent business man who owned a successful chain of “Los Pollos Hermanos” chicken restaurants across the nation. He was a great philanthropist who personally fought the war against drugs and supported the local police force financially and through public service. But, Gustavo Fring was the man who “hid in plain sight” as Gus.

 

Nino Brown – New Jack City

Ruthless describes Nino Brown perfectly. He was willing to do anything to become the biggest drug dealer in New York. He and a small group of his closest friends from his youth founded a criminal organization called the Cash Money Boys or CMB to take over drug trade in New York City. Nino Brown used intimidation, calculated murders, and a multilayered drug operation to turn profit in “The Carter” housing projects. He held the residents of the Carter paralyzed in fear through constant violence and the power of drug addiction. But, he was also treated like a celebrity because of his public charity events. Nino Brown knew how to manipulate the public, but he was as heartless as other villain that movie cinema has ever seen.

 

Tony Montana/Scarface – Scarface

He started from the bottom as a Cuban criminal and defector and worked his way into the top circle of the Columbian drug trade through sheer willpower and a willingness to do what no one else would do. Tony Montana was equal parts the American dream and public enemy number one. He immersed himself into criminal activities from the first opportunity he was given in the United States and showed a real affinity for it. He worked his way from being hired muscle to becoming a contract killer. He turned that into an opportunity to sell drugs and ultimately killed and double-crossed enough people to be a drug boss. Tony Montana was extremely violent and ambitious. He scraped and struggled in his native Cuba to survive which gave him the drive to excel in America.

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How to Make a Good Movie

16 Oct

steven spielberg

1. The movie has to reach at least two hours - Two hours is the minimum amount of time that any movie needs to fully outline a good story, fully develop complex characters, define a conflict, and resolve it. Though the average movie-goer prefers a movie time around 90 minutes, two hours is necessary for a movie to be better than just entertaining.

2. Have good storyline - The story line is what compels viewers to keep watching the movie. It keeps them engaged in the plot of the movie which makes the necessary two hours fly by. People expect a poignant story to be told whether they consciously know it or not.

3. Introduce a clear, charismatic protagonist early in the film - The hero of the film is one of the most important figures that the movie has. The hero has to be engaging and genuine. This person has to be someone that can connect with the audience on many different levels. They have to be a emotionally complex, but well-defined in the context of the movie. The hero has to be believable. Man or woman, the hero has to be able to carry the film.

4. Have a defined antagonist that is introduced early in the film - The antagonist or villain of any movie is the most important character. And, in order for him to be truly effective, he has to be shown early in the film. The villain can be a simple, static character as long as he is vile and ruthless. However, the best villains are as complex or more complex than their protagonist.

4. Slow revelation of the villain - The most entertaining movies introduce the villains early in the movie, but do show his foul intentions until later in the movie. The more unsuspecting his character is early in the movie, the more profound his impact is on the story.

5. There has to separate smaller stories that are relevant to the main story line - The best films have smaller roles that directly affect the overall efficacy of the movie. This means that the better movies are also full of compelling and well-defined smaller characters. They personal conflicts that force them to mature through the course of the movie and they ultimately help or hurt the cause of the two main characters, the hero and the villain.

6. Villain must be willing to do anything - The ability of the antagonist to cause chaos at any cost directly affects his effectiveness in a movie. A great villain has to be willing to do anything to add tension to the story. The more insane and sadistic the villain, the better it is for the movie.

7. Slow progression towards conflict between protagonist and antagonist - The best conflicts are ones that simmer to a boil. If the conflict is revealed to soon or too late, then the audience loses interest. When a movie is entirely too predictable, the movie is boring, and when there is no tension building then a movie is not worth watching.

8. Conflict - The conflict has to exceed the expectations of the audience. The protagonist and antagonist should find themselves in the midst of conflict or the villain should arrange it unbeknownst to the hero. This is the high point of the movie and should be absolutely enthralling. Whether the villain or the hero wins the conflict, the entire movie rests on the director’s ability to convey this contention between the protagonist and antagonist.

9. Resolution of the conflict - All loose ends have to be tied up in the last ten to twenty minutes of the movie. Each separate story has to reach an end before the movie ends. All the characters have to be addressed in respect to the future.

Things Women Should Know About Men

16 Oct

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This article is written by an adult for adults. There is content that is expressed within this page that is not meant for minors. So, if you are not 18 years or older then move away from this page immediately. The opinions shared in this article do not necessarily express the viewpoint of AnswersFromMen.com. AnswersFromMen.com is in no way responsible for the views written here. They are the views of the author.

confused woman

1. The Three F’s

Who knew that Chris Rock had so much sage advice on relationships? If you want to keep a man, fuck him, feed him, and shut the fuck up. A man can deal with almost anything that a woman does if she can cook a good meal, make his toes curl in the bedroom, and let him win the occasional argument. Guys strive for peace in the home, and life is all about simple desires. The symbols of a good home life are good food, good sex, and good company. When the smaller things are taken care of by women, then men are happy.

2. What Is Good P*^sy

Both men and women have a well-formed idea of what good sex is, but the definition of good sex differs greatly between the sexes. Men are generally more motivated by what they see than women are. They respond to visual and tactile cues more often than the emotional ones that excite women. Because men are prompted into sexual activity with their eyes and the source of their attraction is their partner’s appearance, a large part of how sexy a woman feels personally is linked to how sexy she thinks she appears to her man. Therefore, a lot of women think that good sex is all about how their vagina looks and how wet it gets. These women are grossly misguided and misinformed. Unless your labia looks like Dumbo’s ears, your entire pelvis is covered in fur, or your vagina smells like a sewer, then no man cares about the appearance of your vagina. And, how wet your vagina gets is almost a non-factor too. Good foreplay almost always solves any problems with moisture in the vagina. And for the few exceptions when dryness is still a problem, pharmacies offer a vast assortment of oil-based and water-based hypo-allergenic lubricants to aid couples. Ultimately, there are only two ways to wow your man in the bedroom, by strengthening your kegel muscles and by using your hips in sex. Women often worry about how tight their vagina feels to their partner, and honestly the anxiety behind this is also more based in the insecurity of men. Regardless of the source of insecurity, the tightness of your vagina can be increased by regularly doing kegel exercises. And, kegels have clear benefits for both men and women. They help strengthen the pelvic floor which helps with incontinence and urinary stress, they help thicken the vaginal wall which increases natural lubrication in the vagina especially after menopause, and kegels also help increase blood flow and nerve supply to the pelvic area. Kegels improve sexual performance through improved sexual response and function. Consequently, these simple exercises make sex better for both men and women. The only other real contribution that women can make to having better sex is actively participating in sex. Some women think that just letting a man get between their legs is a big enough prize for a man. They are also sadly mistaken. Sex is not about lying still under an idiot until the neanderthal finally stops humping away at your pelvis. Sex is about two people or more if you are into that) enjoying each other intimately. And, a little movement of the hips and a lot of enthusiasm go a long way in the bedroom. If you want to impress your man, make sure that you grind with him during sex instead of laying there and making him work, and strengthen the muscles that make sex better for you and him prior to having sex. Achieving a higher quality of sex has very little to do with the appearance of your vagina and everything to do with your approach.

3. Women Make Life Better for Men, Not Simpler

As the prospective mate of a man, you need to understand one simple but profound idea. You are desired, but not needed by your future husband. Women make life better for men, but they also complicate it and men appreciate simplicity. You, as a woman, do all the little things that men love to have done. A good woman can give the right encouragement at a crucial time, cook the perfect meal that nourishes and is delicious, and makes numerous choices around the house that enhance the standard of living. A good woman improves the quality of life around her. But, men can survive without a good woman because the same woman also brings a separate set of problems too. Just living with another person can be difficult. Roommates bring a different view of the world that may or may not match your beliefs, a new way of resolving problems, and a distinct, personally cultivated opinion about everything. A woman brings all those behaviors and personality traits plus a indeterminable amount of emotional baggage and a real need for higher level communication. Men have to accommodate those needs to keep their significant others satisfied, so they have to work harder just to meet the status quo.

4. Sincere Apologies Really Do Work

With men, there is no need for an elaborate apology and a separate calculated plan for propagating forgiveness in an individual when they have committed an offense against a person who is close to them. A hearty handshake or hug, some eye contact, and a sincere “I’m sorry,” usually suffices.

5. Never Ask That Question

“That Question,” does not relate to any specific question, but it does refer to a particular type of question that all women ask. Women tend to ask men questions that they already know they answer to, or questions that will garner responses that they do not want to accept. “Does this dress make me look fat?” Yes, that dress does make you look fat. You knew that it would make you look like a house when you picked it up. You knew that it was too small when you squeezed into it. You knew how looked when you asked your partner about the dress because you spent fifteen minutes staring at the strained seams of the fabric in the mirror. “Do you think that my friend is hot?” If your guy says ‘No, she’s not my type,’ then you will either be insulted that he does not like your friend or think that he is lying because you know she is gorgeous. If he says yes, then you will be jealous of her and think that he is trying to sleep with her. There is no correct answer to any of these types of questions. Do not ask them.

6. Men Are Not Your Friends

Chris Rock said it. Your best friend is trying to bang you.