Paste your Google Webmaster Tools verification code here
Archive by Author

Things That Make Men Better

11 Feb

better - woman

Various experiences shape and cultivate your personality as a person, and some experiences are more profound than others. Since men mature at a more deliberate pace than women normally do, it seemed necessary to share the experiences that every man needs to become a better version of himself.

Waiting Tables

Every man should be forced to work in the restaurant industry as a server for at least 6 months. Though our most popular eating establishments might suffer a few financial losses, mankind would be well served by this. Becoming a server does at least three things for a man.

First, it humbles him. There are countless smaller, significant jobs that are entailed in waiting tables, and the corresponding learned behaviors that are needed to execute these smaller jobs are not present in every man prior to taking this job. But, working through the subtleties of cleaning the table to both the supervisor’s and patron’s standards, refilling condiments and glasses, and accounting for the money that they have earned the company ensures that cleanliness, attentiveness, and financial responsibility are learned by the workers.

Secondly, becoming a waiter forces men to be courteous and polite in the most stressful situations. Every patron that enters the restaurant and particularly the section of any server has a different disposition, temperament, background, and set of circumstances that led them to eat there. Some customers exude happiness and are a pleasure to serve. Others are ignorant, impatient, and downright abrasive. On these occasions, being a server teaches men how to be gracious, affable, and accommodating  in adverse situations. As an adult, most circumstances call for a more refined approach rather than a brutish confrontation.

And finally, waiting tables teaches men how to read and connect with people. The patron in a restaurant is not just buying food, they are buying their server also. Their dining experience relies on the server’s ability to give them their food, and be a listening ear, tell them a quick joke, or any number of other things. A good server dissects his patron and relates to them on a personal level. They also anticipate the customer’s needs by observing their behaviors. Great servers understand their customers. And, once again, the livelihood of every member of a waitstaff is contingent on their customers’ tips, so it would behoove men to learn their craft.

Having a Daughter

Having a child is a life-changing experience, but having a daughter changes a man’s perspective of both himself and the world around him. As a man, raising a baby boy is fun and exciting. Men remember all their childhood experiences at various ages and get to relive them with their sons. Baby boys follows their fathers like little puppies at first, and then slowly metamorphose into young men and friends capable of making their own decisions. The boys become men and they treat them accordingly, guiding and disciplining them as needed. But men do not have to mature to raise a son. The blueprint for that is already set. Having a daughter changes men’s perception of women and the world. Daughters force their fathers to connect with them emotionally. Whereas, sons are told to stop crying and to tough out both physical and emotional injuries, daughters allowed open emoting and seek consoling. Boys are taught to fend for themselves, but daughters are always protected by their fathers. Men that were womanizers teach their sons the same poor behaviors, but change their behaviors for their daughters. A son makes a man feel proud and virile. A daughter softens him emotionally and helps him to be vulnerable. Having a daughter changes a man.

Getting into a Fist Fight

There is no bigger measure of a man than to stand against another man, exchange a few blows, and shake hands afterward and walk away. Fights do not prove anything. The points of the argument are lost, the credibility of the the two fighters is dismissed the second they throw a punch, and violence rarely solves anything, but there is honor in anyone having enough conviction to risk bodily harm over a subject. And, other men respect a man with convictions regardless of how ignorant they may be.

Moving Out

Leaving the nest for the first time is a rite of passage for men. Sooner or later the house that a man was raised in will become too small for both him and his parents. There may be disagreements over curfew, consumption of food, or use of the utilities, but it will happen and they will all reach a breaking point. The man will have to move out. But, when a he is forced to fend for himself, he gets an appreciation for all the smaller amenities that his parents allowed under their roof, and understands the reasons for the restrictions that they placed on him. When living on his own, a man finally realizes that if he does not budget enough money for laundry, then his clothes will look and smell horrible. He learns that if he does not plan meals in advance, then he may not have food to eat at the end of the week. Becoming self-sufficient is one of the most important steps to reaching manhood and it can only be reached when a man is forced to rely on himself. Surviving on his own strengthens his resolve for future responsibilities and hardships, and the time that men spend living by themselves readies them for co-habitation.

Living with a Woman

There is a massive difference between dating a woman and living with a woman. And, most men do not become conscious of or fully comprehend this until they have done it. Whether it is by socialization or by biology, men and women are different. Men tend to be more direct and concrete, saying their desires bluntly and insensitively. Women more indirect and interpretive, internalizing the meaning of actions and words. Men are more apt to express their love through their actions, and women generally vocalize their affections openly. Living in close capacity with a woman forces a guy to emote more regularly Though uncomfortable at first, this ultimately helps a guy to understand himself better.

In addition to being more mature emotionally, once co-habitation is actualized people begin to see each other wholly for the first time. Though men will never fully understand women, they can begin to comprehend some of their behaviors. Men find out that with women, sometimes they do not want a solution, they simply want to talk. The venting is cathartic and necessary.

Things A Woman Should Never Say

8 Feb

what she is saying02

By William Bixby

If you want to keep the man that you are with, then these things should never slip out of your mouth. For all the bravado and machismo, men have the same emotions and insecurities that women do. And, a large part of a man’s identity lies in his sometimes false sense of reality. Ego is what separates the two genders. There is a reason that old, grossly overweight men still wear speedos. Your job, ladies, is to keep this ego in tact.

1. My ex is bigger than you - This should be obvious, but strangely according to a few sources, it is still actually said. Part of a man’s identity ties directly to his member. Every man wants to believe that his woman is pure and virginal, and does not want to even think about another man sleeping with his woman. Not only are you destroying his delusion of your purity, but you are also feeding a insecurity that he may have not had before.


 

When you talk about your ex, your boyfriend feels like the guy in the glasses.


2. My ex is better than you - Whether or not your ex-boyfriend is better than your current boyfriend, there is no reason to express it to him. Once again, your job as a girlfriend is to stroke the male ego and re-living great times with an ex-boyfriend does not help your present boyfriend in any way.

3. Basically anything about any of your ex-boyfriends - There is no conceivable reason to ever mention your ex-boyfriends. In your boyfriend’s head, he is the first and only man that has ever mattered to you. Immature? Yes, but also true.

4. Why don’t you make more money? - If he is struggling financially, then he knows it. There is no need to point out the obvious. He has probably been trying to figure out how to make more money for a while. Just be as supportive as possible or leave him for a guy with more money.

5. Do I look fat in this? - Yes, you look fat in that. You put on twenty pounds since the two of you started dating. You saw the scale. You looked at it in the mirror. You saw the newly placed love handles on your side. He loves you with or without the extra pounds, so don’t ask him a question for which there is no correct answer.

 

Yes, she looks better than you.


6. Do you think she’s cute? - Yes, he does think she is cute. She is also a few cup sizes bigger than you with a smaller waist. That blank look on his face is his attempt to keep you happy, so do not put him in a position to hurt your feelings.

7. Which one of my friends would you sleep with? - No one wins with this question. If he does not answer you, then you harass him about the question for the next week. If he does answer, then you become instantly jealous of one of your friends, despite the obvious fact that he is not dating her. Avoid this question at all costs or let the unwarranted envy begin.

8. Would you hold my purse? - Why do you want to emasculate your boyfriend? You knew your purse was big, clunky, and heavy when you packed it. You could have taken that small clutch, but you picked up Big Bertha, so deal with it.

loser friend

 

We went to college together, okay?


9. Why is he your friend? - Yes, he has the attention span and the sense of humor of a third grader, but he is your boyfriend’s friend. You don’t have to like him or hang around him, but you do have to accept him. Besides, why are all your friends slutty?

10. We need to talk - In the history of mankind, nothing positive has ever followed these words. The worst thing about saying, “We need to talk,” is that the bad news that succeeds the phrase, is never delivered promptly. There is always some waiting period, where the man has to try to figure out what the problem is. If you have something to say, just say it. Do not preface it with “We need to talk.” Or you could just follow it with, “Here’s a couple thousand dollars I’ve been saving. I’ve seen you working hard and I thought I’d help with the bills this time.” or “I don’t think we’re having enough sex. We should fix that.”

The 5 Shows That Will Teach You All You Need to Know About Black Culture

7 Feb

black television - the boondocks

black television - the cosby show2

The Cosby Show - Bill Cosby set a standard for Black role models on television with his show about a well-educated, suburban Black family. He created a positive vision for Black men and women with examples of successful parents, respectful children, and a good family dynamic. The Cosby Show gave urban youth a personal ideal to strive for that was different and better than those that television had previously provided for minorities about their culture. It gave Black people career goals that were attainable. Cosby used his show to deal with issues of Black family life and used it as a vehicle of change for a struggling Black culture. He showed Black people as contributing members of society and as equals to all other cultures.

black television - the boondocks

The Boondocks - The Boondocks is one of the most intelligent shows about the Black experience that was ever created. On the surface, the Boondocks seems like the superficial cartoon expression of the BET awards. Kids curse at adults, the parents are missing, and the grandparents are strict disciplinarians. You would need a team of scientists with hand counters and a sophisticated computer analysis system to count the number of times “nigga” is said during each episode. However, the show is not just another inappropriate attempt at catching the attention of disillusioned Black youth. It is a well-written, poignant satire disguised as a silly unintentional animation. Each negative display of Black culture is a calculated exhibition pointed towards enlightening the people who are living in those negative stereotypes.

black television - chappelle show

The Chappelle Show - Though David Chappelle touched on almost any subject during his short tenure at Comedy Central, he also exposed and discussed many different issues that affect people of color. Chappelle had a unique gift for exposing cultural inequalities from the past and present in a way that made his audience consider the validity of his claims of racism. Through laughter Chappelle forced people to look at issues that they may not have considered without his lighter touch.

black television - good times

Good Times - Where Bill Cosby played Black father-lite as Heathcliff Huxtable in the better part of town, James Evans was the strong Black father struggling to raise a family in Good Times. People overlook the serious topics that Good Times broached because of the silly exuberance of the oldest son, J.J. He was written in as a foil, but the show regularly touched on poverty, corrupt government, and several different types of abuse. Where the Cosby Show gave Black families a realistic goal to aspire to, Good Times gave everyone a candid look at urban life at that time. Good Times talked about the issues that affect the poor, the mentality that shapes people born in the ghetto, and the struggle to leave that lifestyle.

The Measure: Cosby Show

A Different World - This show was another brain child of Bill Cosby, but this incarnation was decidedly from the standpoint of college age Black students. Once again Cosby’s show gave Black youth a clear vision of a better future through education, but the characters were more radical and the topics were more polarizing. A Different World addressed racial profiling, showed the interactions and struggles between Black people from different walks of life, and exposed the perceptions that different people have of Black people. It was also one of the first television shows with an all-Black cast and the first to depict college life at a historically Black college. This show actually caused college enrollment rates to rise.

 

Honorable Mention:

227 – 227 was one of the first television shows that had an African American woman as its lead. It focused on life in the city and featured a diverse cast that were treated as equals on the show.

In Living Color – In Living Color employed a mostly Black cast, was produced and written by a Black man, and focused on Black issues from a Black viewpoint. In between the laughs, this show was well ahead of its time.

The Jeffersons – Though George Jefferson acted ignorantly and obnoxiously towards the people around him, the show that carried his name dealt with a lot of the issues of the time, interracial marriages, stereotypes about different races, and it starred a Black man as an affluent business owner.

black television - the jeffersons

The “Never” List for Ladies Who Want to Get Married

6 Feb

male friends

Men are easily satisfied. In general the three F’s will suffice to keep a happy man, but there are a few behaviors that almost insure that a woman will be lonely for the rest of her life. Take the words below to heart if you want to avoid being the crazy cat lady that lives at the end of the block.

selfie04

1. Never be the girl that talks about themselves - Here is a little something that you might not know ladies, men are fairly self-involved. That is the reason that they wear leather pants and masturbate like caged spider monkeys. No self aware, heterosexual man would ever puts on leather pants even in the comfort of their own home, but it takes a special kind of egotistical jerk to wear them in public. All men want to talk about themselves, so let them talk. It does two things for you. It makes you seem nurturing and interested, and it makes him feel comfortable and confidant. Men are always looking for someone who will take care of them emotionally whether they know it or not. And a man believes that you care about whatever interests him then he will be more interested in you. Plus, a man that feels confidant is more attractive isn’t he ladies?

2. Never be the blowbang girl - Do you remember the girl that blew four guys from the football team in her dorm room after the big game and 10 shots? Yes, you remember her and so does everybody else at the college except for the four guys with whom she had mouth sex. Any sexual faux pas that becomes public knowledge will follow you for the rest of your dating life and limit the type of guy that you can marry. No one wants to marry the slutty girl from college. Your reputation is like B.O., no one talks about it unless it is bad. It is a sad indictment of our moral fabric, but no one blames men for having meaningless sex while women who are promiscuous are social pariahs. Though it is a double standard, it is reality. Most women that have dark sexual pasts do not get married (or at least not married to the right type of guy).

3. Never be the slutty girl that found religion - The only thing that is worse than being the skank that slept with one of every two guys from your neighborhood is being the reformed slut who has slept 300 guys but is now a born again “virgin”. There is nothing wrong with becoming a better person or choosing a different lifestyle, but rebuking sex altogether and becoming a hypocritical slut is not okay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who knows what she wants from men, especially if what she wants happens to be a lot of penises in and around her body. She will always be satisfied because men will put their wood in anything and as a bonus, she will make a lot of new male friends. Sluttiness has some great advantages. A woman that has regular sex has a good idea of her expectations of her lover. And, variety can help any person hone their tastes, so women that sleep with numerous different guys should hypothetically be better at choosing a mate (at least a sexually compatible mate). Plus, woman almost never have to worry about finding a guy. Jenna Jameson, the most popular porn star in the world is dating an UFC fighter. And, for the more common slut without a porn contract, there are plenty of guys that want a chance to date them. For every promiscuous woman on the Earth, there is a shy, nerdy guy that has loved her since the first day that they met in elementary school. While she was out banging every athlete, musician, and artist that said hello in high school and college, he was writing love letters to her and studying hard to get his big pay day. Men love sluts. But, the one type of female that all guys hate is the hypocritical whore who slept with everyone except them.

4. Never be the girl with all male “friends” - Let’s set the record straight right now. No man can be a platonic friend to a woman, and no man wants to date the girl with five guys on call for sex. The truth about male/female relationships is that there is almost always some sexual desire on the guys part. Men do not approach women because they look like tey could be a great friend. And most women with multiple male friends is sexually attracted to at least one of them and emotionally attached another one. The phrase “I don’t get along with women,” says at least one of three things about you:

  • You are crazy and/or bitchy and women do not like you.
  • You are self-involved, insecure, or mean because those are the only character traits that insures that all of your women friends will disown you.
  • You are high maintenance and need constant attention from various sources. None of these character flaws are attractive to the type of guy that you want to marry.

 

5. Never be the girl with the male best friend - In most situations where a woman’s best friend is a guy, the woman has some unreconciled feelings about her best friend and the best friend wants to sleep with the girl, but one or both of them are too shy to make a move. Occasionally, the male friend is an ex-boyfriend with whom the girl is still in love. In either situation, the woman involved needs to address her feelings for the “best friend” or she will never put the necessary work into her ensuing relationships. The best “friend” will give her “advice” about her relationship with her lover. The “advice” always sounds like “I can not believe he said that to you. You need to leave him.”

 

6. Never ask a guy if he is going to marry you - If a man is considering marriage with you, then you will know it. If you have to ask him if you are going to get married, then you are probably not in the right relationship. Pointing out all of your friends that are getting married does not work. Window shopping in a jewelry store is a death sentence. A guy knows that he is with the right girl within a year of dating her. If you get to year three and there has been no talk of marriage, then it may be time to leave the relationship.

7. Never Disrespect Your Man - Men can take a lot of pain in a relationship and keep their commitment and fidelity. Men can endure arguments, bad attitudes, and boring and infrequent sex from the woman that they love, but one thing that most men can not tolerate is disrespect. Never be the girl that disrespects her guy in public. And disrespect comes in many different forms. Men will leave you if you if do any of the following: berate and/or curse at him in public, make him look inept financially, make him look inadequate sexually, or challenge his manhood. Challenging a guy’s manhood is a sure way to lose him. Never call a guy a pussy or say that he is less than a man. It is hurtful and he will lose respect for you which will end the courtship. But, the most damaging display of disrespect is also one of the most overlooked forms of it. Not listening to your man is volatile and reprehensible in a relationship. Because men are usually the party with fewer spoken words in a relationship, the words that they speak carry more weight in their minds. And contrary to popular opinion, most of the questions that men ask are well thought out. So when a man makes a request of you, no matter how small it is, he expects for you to fulfill his expectations. Ignoring or dismissing his request is direct attack on his idea of how you see him and a statement to him about the strength of your relationship with him. He thinks that since he normally does not ask you for anything, and since he regularly provides you with everything that you need, then when he asks you for anything whether it be private, financial, emotional, informative, sexual, or whatever, you should comply. Your (dismissal) feels like a slight and any question that you ask will seem like a question of his integrity which ultimately feels disrespectful. I guess it turns out that guys are pretty complicated too.

 

8. Never Dismiss Your Man’s Emotions - Men are seldom openly emotional, so when they do open up their feelings women need to listen to them. Guys are taught to be tough and emotionless from the time that their first words form. Stoicism is rewarded in men. Men are naturally guarded with their feelings because boys that talk about anything other than girls, sports, fights, and cars are immediately ridiculed and ostracized by their friends. If a man trusts you enough to emote with you then support him fully.

 

9. Never Be the No Blowjob Girl - Do I really need to explain this? Oral sex should not be relegated to birthdays and huge celebrations.