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Women Have It Better

13 Jan

women are better

This article was originally posted on July 3rd, 2011. It chronicles the ease with which women can live if they so choose. Women really do have it better than men.

1. No woman has to work – There is a man out there for every woman on this Earth and he will spend money just to be with her. Pretty women do not need a vocation that lends itself to an occupation, because women do not have to work. Ladies do not need to work because men are stupid enough to pay for their every whim when they get around beautiful women. They try to show their affection to women by buying extravagant gifts and showering and pampering them constantly financially. Men have no clue that emotional intimacy is much more important when trying to attract ladies than spending money on them, so they us their money to buy love and sex. Women can exploit this weakness. They do not need to strip to earn money if they are attractive. Men will happily support them without physical intimacy. Men are stupid. Women work because they want to work, not because they have to work. And, men are destined to spend a lifetime working to satisfy women.

2.Women get fake holidays - Women have at least four days in every year that they can expect gifts to be showered on them and for everyone to make a big fuss over them. They have their birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Mother’s Day. Okay, granted, men get their birthdays and Christmas too. But, no one makes a fuss over a guy on these days, and Father’s Day is a joke. If a woman does not get a gift on any of these days, there will be hell to pay for her guy. Mother’s Day is understandable because women nurture the babies and kiss skinned knees, but Valentine’s Day is not real holiday. If you have to work on the day, then it does not exist. Women get to play dress up for a day. Get flowers, candy, a good meal, and if they have the right guy, good sex too. Men get to buy the flowers, candy, and the good meal.

3. Women get to give birth - Yes, child birth is physically the most painful thing that any person could do. It is like trying to push a small orange through a water hose, scary yet magical. However, it is also one of the most rewarding events in any person’s life. How special is it to grow a living person inside of your body? It is one of life’s two real miracles…the other is the fact that a baby pushes its way through a vagina to be born. Also women are closer with their children than men. Mothers kiss the skinned knees and sing lullabies. Dads just pay the bills and tell stories about the good old days.

4. Women are smarter - To be succinct, intellectually, women are no smarter than men. Intelligence varies with no real significant deviation towards any specific gender or race in early years. The changes in “intelligence” come after different social factors are introduced to children. Therefore, smart people come in many different packages regardless of sex. However, women have the ability to manipulate men easily which makes them a little bit smarter. A pretty woman could walk through life without paying for a single thing to support herself. Look at Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall II or Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. They just married rich. One waited for the old bastard to die, the other convinced her guy not to sign a pre-nuptial agreement and sued him for half of his worth. Men regularly let boobs and a pretty smile cloud their better judgment. Robin Williams said it best, “God gave men two heads, but not enough blood to use both at the same time.”

5. Women have better orgasms - Men really got screwed on this one. Any guy could deal with getting the short end of the stick on the rest of these if he at least had something that was at least comparable to a woman’s orgasm. When nearing climax during intercourse, a man’s sex organs are extremely sensitive for 2-5 minutes and his orgasm lasts about 5-10 seconds at best. Initially, being a guy may seem favorable, because every time a man has sex, he is going to climax. If he convince anyone to sleep with him, then he will probably have at least a mildly entertaining evening. The sensation of that orgasm is about the same every time he has it and there are only subtle differences between anyone of a man’s orgasms. You know what you are going to get and you will get the same thing every time. Consistency can be good. Most women, unfortunately, do not orgasm every time that have sex. But, women experience orgasms on a completely different level than men. In fact, they have at least three different levels of orgasms. There is the “I really needed that,” orgasm, which is like having someone scratch a spot that you could not reach. It is not mind blowing, but it is good for a quick tryst. There is the actual, mind-blowing orgasm that women can feel in their finger tips and toes. That is the orgasm where the woman has to take a minute to collect herself after it happens. She may stretch languidly across the bed/couch/table/or whatever thing that you just polished with your butts while her eyes are closed and she catches her breath. And then there is the “Oh my God, I do not know what you just did to me, but if you touch my elbow right now, I might finish again!” This orgasm makes the most beautiful women in the world contort their faces until they are almost unrecognizable. It is like a full body seizure, but somehow pleasurable. The woman’s body twitches rhythmically. She can not talk and her entire body is sensitive to touch. Her toes curl and her eyes roll back into her head. The whole experience looks borderline spiritual. That orgasm is a gift. And no man has ever felt anything close to that.

How Not to Piss Off Your Waiter

28 Nov

eatout - menu

1. Do Not Say That You’re in a Rush - If you are in a rush, then do not go to a restaurant. Eat at home. If you ask the kitchen to put your food ahead of all the other food, then you have in essence said screw everybody else who has accurately planned out enough time to eat because you think that you are more important than them. That makes you a douche bag. Your food will be dry because it has been cooked too fast, your waiter will be pissed because he has to spend more time and effort with you, and you will not get wherever you are trying to go in time. Inevitably, the person that says that they are in a rush orders both an appetizer and a dessert along with their meal which insures that they will not get to their destination in 30 minutes. Save your server and yourself a headache and go to Mickey D’s.

2. Don’t Say I’m Allergic - Why would you trust your life or the life of your kids to someone who can not figure “no onions?” That makes you a suicidal idiot. There is always a chance that something that you are allergic to will touch something that you ordered. Have you ever ordered a hamburger with no onions and that lone sliver of onion sneaks into the sandwich? If your allergies are life threatening then eat at home. Half of the desserts in big restaurants have nuts in them and some fried foods are cooked in peanut oil. Nut allergies are unavoidable. And, do not say that you are allergic to garlic, onions, or salt. Anything that you order will have one of them in it. If you consistently tell your waiter that you are allergic to food in a restaurant, then you are a liar or you should live in a bubble. Eat at home.

 

3. Don’t Change the Dish - “Ummm, I a want the Blackened Mahi Mahi with the Lemon-Garlic Butter Sauce, but can I have chicken instead of the fish and can I have a tomato sauce instead of the the lemon sauce. Oh, and can I have fries instead of the rice that this comes with. Wait, you don’t have fries? What kind of restaurant doesn’t have fries?” A classy one, you assbag. Do not be this person. Your waiter hates you. He or she is thinking of different ways to murder you without leaving witnesses. And at the end of it all, your waiter is going to forget one of the five things that you wanted changed.

4. Don’t Ask What the Sides Are - You have a menu you numb nut. Use it. Thirty people a day ask a waiter what the sides are despite the answer sitting literally right under their noses. Do not be one of them. Instead, ask where the sides are on the menu.

 

5. Don’t Ask What the Specials Are - The only people that ask what the specials are, are people looking for a deal. If you are can not afford to buy a meal, then do not eat out. There is a distinct difference between asking if there are any special dishes that are off the menu that the chef recommends and asking for the cheap lunch specials. Your waiter is being paid $2.13 an hour to serve you food and keep you hydrated, not to entertain your stupid questions about price values. An expensive restaurant is not the place to try to hunt for a bargain.

 

6. Don’t Send Your Food Back - There is absolutely no reason to ever do this. You are going wait thirty minutes for your food if you have a particularly spiteful waiter, and your palate is not so sensitive that you can not get through whatever sounded really good to you from the menu. If the food is burnt, raw, or has someone’s DNA in it, then send it back. If the meal that you ordered does not taste the way that imagined it tasting, suck it up. Life is a gamble.

If the restaurant has a tip pool, then the waiter is actually paying money for this guy to eat.

7. Do Not Skimp on the Tip - Here is a Public Service Announcement for all the poor, backwoods yokels, the ignorant inner city adventurers, and/or the cheap foreign people that go out to eat at restaurants in America. The standard tip percentage is 15%. Not 10%. Not $5. It is 15% at any establishment of fine dining. You are ripping off your waiter when you do not tip properly. Your server is being paid two dollars an hour to smile at you and your terrible attitude, to ignore your yelling kids who are destroying the table and wasting food and drinks on themselves, the table, and floor, and to get good food out to you and two other tables in a timely fashion. And, some restaurants charge their servers a percentage of their tips which means that when you do not tip your servers are actually paying the store for you to eat. People who shaft waiters are wastes of oxygen. Do not be that person.

The Truth About Female Sexual Dysfunction

25 Nov

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female sexual dysfunction02

This entire article may seem strange coming from a man. But for any heterosexual man, any son of any woman, or any father of young daughters there should be a vested interest in the welfare of women and their sexuality. And, while female sexuality is an uncomfortable subject to broach for most men, especially when referring to loved ones with whom you do not share a sexual relationship, the subject is worth discussing for their happiness. According to pharmaceutical companies, up to 43% of all women are affected by female sexual dysfunction. That bears repeating. Pharmaceutical companies believe that nearly half of all women in the world are suffering from some sort of impairment that prevents them from having and enjoying sex. However, female sexual dysfunction is a disease that was manufactured by drug companies to capitalize off the preoccupation that people have with sex.

As many as 12 pharmaceutical organizations are currently actively attempting to “cure” female sexual dysfunction. Pfizer, the company that created Viagra, found that up to one-third of women in southern Europe had a lack of interest in sex, and 40% of women in southeast Asia failed to reach orgasm in a 2005 survey. Some of the other drug companies estimate that at least 80% of women have significant body image issues and that those body judgement prevent 46% of women from having regular orgasms. These numbers are alarming until you consider who conducted the trials and who funded them, pharmacy. Drug companies are attempting to apply the same ideals for the treatment of sexual dysfunction to both men and women when the science of sex is completely different for the two genders.

Men are wired differently than women emotionally and physically. Dr. Edward O. Laumann, PHD. goes into great detail over the differences between the sexes and their sexual drives in his book, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. His studies at the University of Chicago have shown that men think about sex more and pursue it more. Most men under the age of  60 think about sex at least once a day, while only about 25% of women think about sex that often. Men masturbate more frequently and have sex more often with more partners than women. But, women show more complex sexual drives while the male sex drive is fairly simple. Heterosexual men only become sexually excited by women and heterosexual sex acts and homosexual men are attracted to men and sexual behaviors between them. But, both women who classify themselves as heterosexual and those who consider themselves homosexual can be aroused by seeing or participating in either heterosexual or homosexual acts. According to Baumeister, women’s sexual preferences are influenced by many social, cultural, and environmental factors whereas the preferences of most men remain fairly static regardless of context. Education, religious beliefs, peers, and time all affect the sexual viewpoint and sexual behaviors of women, but sexual preference in men does not change. Therefore, women’s libidos show very little response to drug therapy while men are very responsive to several different types of treatments. This is because most sexual responses and problems for men are physical in nature rather than being tied into emotion. When a man can not perform or reach orgasm, the base cause is usually that blood is not flowing into the penis or it is not staying in the penis. These problems can usually be treated by treating the tissue in the penis that sustains the erection, treating circulation, or treating the prostate which can block flow. Reaching orgasm for a man is as simple as getting his equipment to work properly in most cases. Reaching orgasm is a more difficult venture for women. It is often a combination of mental excitement and arousal, clitoral stimulation, and good sexual technique from a partner that allows a woman to climax during sex. And even then, an orgasm is not promised to a woman. So, treating the physical aspects of sex for women has given less than desirable results even though the male and female sex organs have very similar builds and functions.

Since both the vulva of a woman and the penis of a man fill with blood when they gets aroused, and blood flow causes the requisite sensitivity of the organs that produces orgasms, pharmaceutical companies believed that promoting blood flow to the vulva would increase orgasms for women. These theories prompted most drug treatment for sexual dysfunction in women to be made to promote increased blood flow to the genitals, however increased blood flow does not lead directly to increased pleasure in women. Some of the largest drug companies in the world have siphoned millions of dollars behind this erroneous belief and lost it all. But, because so much money has been spent trying to prove that FSD exists and so much has been spent developing treatment for the nonexistent ailment, the drug therapy of FSD has to work.

Australian journalist Ray Moynihan wrote:
“In trials on women in the US, compared to placebo, flibanserin offered women an extra 0.7 “satisfying sexual events” per month. In the trials on European women, flibanserin simply failed to beat the dummy pill. With data like that, the drug is going to need all the marketing help it can get.”

The statistical conclusions that drug companies draw from their clinical studies should be more highly scrutinized because they have vested interests in the outcome of studies. Most pills that treat low libido have no significant efficacy, and convincing women that they have sexual disorder could prove to be very lucrative for the companies that “treat” the disease.

Female sexual dysfunction or “frigidity” as it was called in years past does not exist. Women simply have different sex drives than men, differing sex drives amongst themselves, and a variable of separate needs in order to achieve orgasm. Science has proven long ago that most women need more than penetration for climax to be achieved. Science has proven that women have different sexual cues that trigger different sexual responses. Science has proven that the same woman can be aroused by one behavior on one day and unresponsive to the same act the next day. And, science has proven that no matter how much individuals are alike they are still unique. There are some extreme cases when a woman may actually need medication to compensate for her low sex drive or her lack of enthusiasm about sex, however nearly half of all women are not suffering from a sexual affliction. If women are not enjoying sex, then they should not look to the pharmaceutical companies to fix them. They should seek to understand their own body, and guide their partners to what sexual and emotional behaviors please them. Female sexual dysfunction is a potentially lucrative lie that drug companies conjured up to make a lot of cash off sexually frustrated women, and our mothers, sisters, and even our daughters need to be wary of them.

Bad Tattoos

22 Nov

bad tattoo07

Here is a public service announcement for everyone that is considering getting a tattoo, tattoos are permanent. You should choose carefully when picking one. Answersfrommen.com has put together a few examples of what not to have done in a tattoo shop.