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Learn from Watching Porn

23 Feb

Young couple making love

Let me start by saying that this is not the latest re-worded version of the Kama Sutra. AnswersFromMen.com decided to give you a real lesson in love and lust, and there is no better example of pseudo-love and lust than in pornography. Porn is not just recreational; it can teach men a few things. On the surface, porn may show guys a few new nuances on certain positions, but there are basically three positions in sex, missionary, cowgirl, and doggy style. Everything else is just a variation of the aforementioned positions (standing, sitting, laying, legs in different positions, etc.) If you take a closer look at skin flicks though, you might just learn something about sex.

1. Men Are Faceless, Pleasure Givers

Having quality sex with your partner is not about you as a guy even though your performance directly affects the quality of the sex. Most young, inexperienced guys think that sex begins and ends with their own orgasms, however they are leaving a trail of disappointed ladies in their sexual wakes. The more experienced man realizes that good sex focuses solely on the woman. The prospect of intercourse is enough for some men to climax. Men are promised an orgasm if they actually do get into a ladies pants, however, a lot of women reach climax with much more difficulty. They need focused attention to their desires, lots of foreplay, and an atmosphere that is conducive to their comfort and that propagates relaxation. Men have to come to terms with the idea that sex is not about them; it is about the women. A man’s only job during sex is to satisfy his partner. Deal with it.

 

2. Change Positions Regularly

Pounding away behind a woman may be fun for you, but your woman is bored or in pain. No woman wants to lie in one spot for an hour with you plowing away at her. Make sure to regularly switch positions if only to insure that your lover does not fall asleep on you. Show your sexual prowess by seamlessly moving through different positions in the bedroom. Just be sure not to change positions if you actually are pleasing her. Once again, your job as a lover is to please the woman. Think of sex like a good movie. If the movie did not have high and low points, then the movie would not be worth watching. Varying tempo helps to keep sex interesting.

 

3. No Sexual Encounter Should Be Exactly Like Another

In keeping with that movie reference, if you watch the same movie over and over again, in time it loses some of its luster. There should never be a sexual road map of events in the bedroom like kiss her lips, kiss her neck, grab breasts, and insert manhood. Every sexual trip should be different. Some trysts should be quick and intense, and some should be slow, smoldering, and passionate. Variety is essential in keeping an exciting sex life.

4.  Always Read the Non-Verbal Cues

In porn just like in real life, people are always communicating without speaking. In the adult business, women use subtle hand gestures to talk to the male talent. A slight touch on the man tells him if he s being too rough or aggressive without alarming the porn audience. Real women use non-verbal gestures in the bedroom too. Very few women are assertive or self-aware enough to vocalize their needs in the bedroom, so their partners have to observe and observe what their body movements mean. A slight push forward of the hips or legs embracing the head or body of a sex partner generally means that a woman wants more pressure applied. In contrast to that if a woman continuously moves her pelvis away from her partner, then the sex may be too intense or she could even be in pain.

There are numerous similarities between the sex in pornography and regular consensual sex in normal real-life circumstances. Men just need to be cognizant of the more subtle likenesses. If men are focusing on their partner’s pleasure, being spontaneous and diverse in the bedroom, and watching for the woman’s body language, then sex could be better for both of them. And, porn can teach them how to do those things.

 

Ballin’ on a Budget

21 Feb

date-pool-hall04

Men are always in an attempt to impress women, but sometimes their income does not match the woman of their desires. Well, those men need to learn how to ball on a budget. Enjoying your life is not about spending money outside of your means. It is about making the most with the money that you have. Below are some of the easiest ways to impress a lady without spending a lot of cash.

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1. Club/Bar

In order to impress a woman without spending a lot of money, you have to be a good planner. And, any good plan begins with some good intelligence reports. Clubs and bars lend great options for easy dates early on in a relationship. Plus, they give you insight into who your date is without you having to shell out a lot of money to spend time with her. However, if you do not want this date to get expensive really quickly, then you have to put in the proper amount of research first. The first step is to ask the most attractive women that you know which clubs and bars they frequent. For some reason, gorgeous women love to go to places that have other beautiful women in them. No one knows why this phenomena occurs, but do not question it. Use it to your advantage. Invariably, these women will lead you to the right places. Be sure to ask them the price ranges for the bars and clubs and what night is the ladies night.

 

2. Parks

Parks stand as your best option for any date when you are single and broke. They cost you nothing to visit, they connect every woman with their childhood, and they give you place where you can be fun and spontaneous. Parks bring out the best in people and allow women to see you in an endearing light. They connect you with a good memory from her childhood. All of the fun things that the two of you enjoyed as a child are at your disposal. The most intelligent men use the children of their closest relatives to impress the women whom they are dating. Talk your sister into leaving your nephew with you (believe me she needs the time alone) so that your date can see how well you do with kids.

 

3. Ice Cream Parlor

Though the ice cream in any parlor is grossly overpriced, most ice cream parlors are cozy little shops where you can sit, talk, and enjoy a really high quality dessert. These parlors are relatively empty on weekends, especially if you frequent one of the few neighborhood spots that still exist, and you can always find a secluded spot where you can talk to the woman that you are wooing. The average cost of a good date runs about $8-$11, which is well worth the time alone with a lovely lady. Plus, ice cream is a simple guilty pleasure that the two of you can share.

 

4. Pool Hall

The game of billiards is an opportunity for you to show your expertise at a contest that has existed for hundreds of years, and a chance to get close to your date and possibly break the touch barrier. A date at a pool hall works for a few reasons. First, it allows you to teach your date how to shoot, assuming that you actually know more than her about the game. You can get close to your date, shift her body and hands towards the right spots, and even cozy up to her and help her guide her shots into the pockets. Touch is one of the most important and ignored human traits, and pool gives you the chance to be open and tactile with a woman. Secondly, if she actually is better than you, then you can have her teach you a few things.

picnic

5. Picnic

As a single man, picnics are your strongest ally in the fight to win over the hearts of women. Once again, this is one way to connect positive emotions from their childhood with thoughts of you. Everyone has some good memory connected to eating lunch with their parents or grandparents as a child. And most importantly, you control how much you spend on the date. A decent tasting wine can be bought for about $12-15. From there, you can make mini-sandwiches with potato chips for less than $10, and still have lunch for the rest of the week. Or, you can feign sophistication and buy foreign cheese and crackers for less than $15. Either way, she will be impressed by your efforts. Grab a picnic basket, put a nice blanket in your car, and head to the nearest field for your afternoon getaway. If the weather cooperates, a picnic on a sunny day is a perfect date for under $30.

Things That Make Men Better

11 Feb

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Various experiences shape and cultivate your personality as a person, and some experiences are more profound than others. Since men mature at a more deliberate pace than women normally do, it seemed necessary to share the experiences that every man needs to become a better version of himself.

Waiting Tables

Every man should be forced to work in the restaurant industry as a server for at least 6 months. Though our most popular eating establishments might suffer a few financial losses, mankind would be well served by this. Becoming a server does at least three things for a man.

First, it humbles him. There are countless smaller, significant jobs that are entailed in waiting tables, and the corresponding learned behaviors that are needed to execute these smaller jobs are not present in every man prior to taking this job. But, working through the subtleties of cleaning the table to both the supervisor’s and patron’s standards, refilling condiments and glasses, and accounting for the money that they have earned the company ensures that cleanliness, attentiveness, and financial responsibility are learned by the workers.

Secondly, becoming a waiter forces men to be courteous and polite in the most stressful situations. Every patron that enters the restaurant and particularly the section of any server has a different disposition, temperament, background, and set of circumstances that led them to eat there. Some customers exude happiness and are a pleasure to serve. Others are ignorant, impatient, and downright abrasive. On these occasions, being a server teaches men how to be gracious, affable, and accommodating  in adverse situations. As an adult, most circumstances call for a more refined approach rather than a brutish confrontation.

And finally, waiting tables teaches men how to read and connect with people. The patron in a restaurant is not just buying food, they are buying their server also. Their dining experience relies on the server’s ability to give them their food, and be a listening ear, tell them a quick joke, or any number of other things. A good server dissects his patron and relates to them on a personal level. They also anticipate the customer’s needs by observing their behaviors. Great servers understand their customers. And, once again, the livelihood of every member of a waitstaff is contingent on their customers’ tips, so it would behoove men to learn their craft.

Having a Daughter

Having a child is a life-changing experience, but having a daughter changes a man’s perspective of both himself and the world around him. As a man, raising a baby boy is fun and exciting. Men remember all their childhood experiences at various ages and get to relive them with their sons. Baby boys follows their fathers like little puppies at first, and then slowly metamorphose into young men and friends capable of making their own decisions. The boys become men and they treat them accordingly, guiding and disciplining them as needed. But men do not have to mature to raise a son. The blueprint for that is already set. Having a daughter changes men’s perception of women and the world. Daughters force their fathers to connect with them emotionally. Whereas, sons are told to stop crying and to tough out both physical and emotional injuries, daughters allowed open emoting and seek consoling. Boys are taught to fend for themselves, but daughters are always protected by their fathers. Men that were womanizers teach their sons the same poor behaviors, but change their behaviors for their daughters. A son makes a man feel proud and virile. A daughter softens him emotionally and helps him to be vulnerable. Having a daughter changes a man.

Getting into a Fist Fight

There is no bigger measure of a man than to stand against another man, exchange a few blows, and shake hands afterward and walk away. Fights do not prove anything. The points of the argument are lost, the credibility of the the two fighters is dismissed the second they throw a punch, and violence rarely solves anything, but there is honor in anyone having enough conviction to risk bodily harm over a subject. And, other men respect a man with convictions regardless of how ignorant they may be.

Moving Out

Leaving the nest for the first time is a rite of passage for men. Sooner or later the house that a man was raised in will become too small for both him and his parents. There may be disagreements over curfew, consumption of food, or use of the utilities, but it will happen and they will all reach a breaking point. The man will have to move out. But, when a he is forced to fend for himself, he gets an appreciation for all the smaller amenities that his parents allowed under their roof, and understands the reasons for the restrictions that they placed on him. When living on his own, a man finally realizes that if he does not budget enough money for laundry, then his clothes will look and smell horrible. He learns that if he does not plan meals in advance, then he may not have food to eat at the end of the week. Becoming self-sufficient is one of the most important steps to reaching manhood and it can only be reached when a man is forced to rely on himself. Surviving on his own strengthens his resolve for future responsibilities and hardships, and the time that men spend living by themselves readies them for co-habitation.

Living with a Woman

There is a massive difference between dating a woman and living with a woman. And, most men do not become conscious of or fully comprehend this until they have done it. Whether it is by socialization or by biology, men and women are different. Men tend to be more direct and concrete, saying their desires bluntly and insensitively. Women more indirect and interpretive, internalizing the meaning of actions and words. Men are more apt to express their love through their actions, and women generally vocalize their affections openly. Living in close capacity with a woman forces a guy to emote more regularly Though uncomfortable at first, this ultimately helps a guy to understand himself better.

In addition to being more mature emotionally, once co-habitation is actualized people begin to see each other wholly for the first time. Though men will never fully understand women, they can begin to comprehend some of their behaviors. Men find out that with women, sometimes they do not want a solution, they simply want to talk. The venting is cathartic and necessary.

The 5 Shows That Will Teach You All You Need to Know About Black Culture

7 Feb

black television - the boondocks

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The Cosby Show - Bill Cosby set a standard for Black role models on television with his show about a well-educated, suburban Black family. He created a positive vision for Black men and women with examples of successful parents, respectful children, and a good family dynamic. The Cosby Show gave urban youth a personal ideal to strive for that was different and better than those that television had previously provided for minorities about their culture. It gave Black people career goals that were attainable. Cosby used his show to deal with issues of Black family life and used it as a vehicle of change for a struggling Black culture. He showed Black people as contributing members of society and as equals to all other cultures.

black television - the boondocks

The Boondocks - The Boondocks is one of the most intelligent shows about the Black experience that was ever created. On the surface, the Boondocks seems like the superficial cartoon expression of the BET awards. Kids curse at adults, the parents are missing, and the grandparents are strict disciplinarians. You would need a team of scientists with hand counters and a sophisticated computer analysis system to count the number of times “nigga” is said during each episode. However, the show is not just another inappropriate attempt at catching the attention of disillusioned Black youth. It is a well-written, poignant satire disguised as a silly unintentional animation. Each negative display of Black culture is a calculated exhibition pointed towards enlightening the people who are living in those negative stereotypes.

black television - chappelle show

The Chappelle Show - Though David Chappelle touched on almost any subject during his short tenure at Comedy Central, he also exposed and discussed many different issues that affect people of color. Chappelle had a unique gift for exposing cultural inequalities from the past and present in a way that made his audience consider the validity of his claims of racism. Through laughter Chappelle forced people to look at issues that they may not have considered without his lighter touch.

black television - good times

Good Times - Where Bill Cosby played Black father-lite as Heathcliff Huxtable in the better part of town, James Evans was the strong Black father struggling to raise a family in Good Times. People overlook the serious topics that Good Times broached because of the silly exuberance of the oldest son, J.J. He was written in as a foil, but the show regularly touched on poverty, corrupt government, and several different types of abuse. Where the Cosby Show gave Black families a realistic goal to aspire to, Good Times gave everyone a candid look at urban life at that time. Good Times talked about the issues that affect the poor, the mentality that shapes people born in the ghetto, and the struggle to leave that lifestyle.

The Measure: Cosby Show

A Different World - This show was another brain child of Bill Cosby, but this incarnation was decidedly from the standpoint of college age Black students. Once again Cosby’s show gave Black youth a clear vision of a better future through education, but the characters were more radical and the topics were more polarizing. A Different World addressed racial profiling, showed the interactions and struggles between Black people from different walks of life, and exposed the perceptions that different people have of Black people. It was also one of the first television shows with an all-Black cast and the first to depict college life at a historically Black college. This show actually caused college enrollment rates to rise.

 

Honorable Mention:

227 – 227 was one of the first television shows that had an African American woman as its lead. It focused on life in the city and featured a diverse cast that were treated as equals on the show.

In Living Color – In Living Color employed a mostly Black cast, was produced and written by a Black man, and focused on Black issues from a Black viewpoint. In between the laughs, this show was well ahead of its time.

The Jeffersons – Though George Jefferson acted ignorantly and obnoxiously towards the people around him, the show that carried his name dealt with a lot of the issues of the time, interracial marriages, stereotypes about different races, and it starred a Black man as an affluent business owner.

black television - the jeffersons