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Ask A Black Man: Why Are Black Men Dating Other Races?

18 Dec

interracial dating07

By William Bixby

Let me preface some of the imminently unpopular statements that will be made in this article by saying that this article is not an indictment of all Black women. Black women are some of the most wonderful, resourceful human beings in this country, and some of the most physically beautiful people on the planet. Black women are creative, intelligent, and colorful people. They are compassionate and giving. They are nurturing and self-sufficient. However, despite all these great qualities, Black men have stopped dating women of the same ethnicity and started pursuing women of different backgrounds. Men of color have begun to date outside their race for several reasons, but the most prominent causes of this current trend are the challenges that come with dating Black women. The same character traits that make Black women strong and capable in professional settings, the ones that allow them to sustain a high standard of living by themselves, also make them overbearing and confrontational in intimate relationships. The individuality and strength that defines them as mothers and earners hinders their willingness to compromise and acquiesce to needs of their partners. In the context of a romantic relationship, Black women can be extremely difficult to date.

The challenging nature of relationships with Black women can be better understood through a deeper perspicacity into the Black experience. Black people’s personalities are shaped by the unique social situations that only they experience. They face some of the most oppressive and hyperbolic misrepresentations of character in the nation. Black people are stereotyped as violent, ambition-less criminals who dress like thugs and aggressively prey on the affluent majority or lazy bums who apathetically feed from the majority through the welfare system. It is an unfair assessment that negatively affects the perception of an entire people, and a large portion of the American public believes it to be true. Black men either perpetuate this terrible stereotype by simply looking and dressing relevantly to their culture which is vastly different from the general population (baggy clothes and urban wear) or become a muted version of themselves by dressing and behaving to assimilate into cultural expectations. Most races are taught to seek personal individualism, but Black people are taught to blend in with their peers or be subjected to persecution. Black people, and more specifically, Black women, face more obstacles than the average person. They suffer the institutionalized prejudices that come along with being a double minority. Black women are persecuted for being Black and undervalued for being women. They are expected to be irrational, angry, and over-sexed by the general public, and they combat those stereotypes daily. That forces them to see situations differently and to react more adversely to these incidences than the average person. Their subjection to these gross miss-characterizations of their personality hardens a lot of Black women, and their behavior sometimes mirrors the misconceptions that other races have about them further widening the gap between their reality and the experiences of their peers. They are single parents more often than most other ethnicities struggling with all the requisite problems of raising children alone. And, the statistics reflect this sentiment. Black women really are more independent than the women of most other races, because Black men are less likely to live in-home with their children. Black women are accustomed to doing things on their own mostly because they are solely accountable to their household. Black people as a whole therefore are caught in a perpetual cycle. 64% of Black children were raised by only their mothers versus 34% for Hispanic children, and 25% for White children. They also have to be more vigilant in raising their children since children who are raised with an absentee father are at least twice as likely to use drugs, have a criminal record, be sexually assaulted, and have a litany of other behavioral, emotional, and health problems. Black women receive lower wages in the corporate workplace than any other ethnic group because they possess one of the most destructive stereotypes of any minorities, the stereotype of the angry woman. Because of these barriers, Black women have become some of the most resilient and resourceful people on the planet. They feed their families on less financial resources with fewer viable options for help. They learn to depend on themselves in crisis, because they have been failed by the American system. But, this forced self-reliance has also left a lot of Black women calloused and guarded emotionally. These women force their partners to work constantly to earn their trust. They approach their love life the same way that they approach their careers, with reticence towards those who offer apparent better solutions and with tempered expectations towards the future.

angry black woman

Unfortunately, romantic connections require a high level of transparency and vulnerability. Relationships are hard. They put mental and emotional strain on both partners regardless of their socioeconomic backgrounds, in spite of similar or dissimilar ethnic makeups, and despite different cultural upbringing. Women operate at a higher emotional level than men in general. They emote more readily and communicate more, so a man’s perceived lack of emotional investment can cause turmoil in the best relationships. Women of all races have disputes or disagreements with their partners, but Black women push conflict to new heights. No person can argue like a Black woman, and most of them would not relinquish the last word in an argument if their life depended on it. A Black woman is always right whether she be a mother, a wife, a sister, or just a friend. Some of these ladies actually take pride in proving their point above resolving relevant issues. That type of unyielding attitude is absolutely necessary in a hostile work environment or when running an unbalanced household, but it is devastating to a relationship. Black men are dating outside of their race because Black women are often too argumentative and independent.

This lack of fealty that Black men have show towards Black women should not take away from all the amazing things that Black women do on a daily basis. And, the purpose of these words were not to doom Black relationships or place blame for their demise solely on Black women. Black men have dropped the ball with cheating, eschewing the responsibilities of fatherhood, and general immaturity. But, this is not an indictment of Black men. It is a straight answer to a difficult question. Hopefully, all the women that read this article can take these words with a grain of salt. The truth about people (not just women) is that they share different combinations of all the same desires, behaviors, and personality traits despite representing varying genders, backgrounds, cultures, and ethnicity. People look and behave differently, but they are inherently the same. However, some of the subtle differences in culture cause stereotypes to abound about certain groups. And, women incur a lot of them. According to the stereotypes, White women are adventurous in bed and have good credit, Hispanic women are family-oriented and passionate, Asian women are docile and subservient, and Black women are independent, difficult, and argumentative. Some ladies do embody these beliefs, but women come in completely different packages so these stereotypes do not fit all women. Because different races of women have different cultural practices, women have varying behaviors and personality traits. There are docile Black women with good credit, fiery Asian women who are independent, freaky Hispanic women who are difficult, and there are argumentative, passionate White women in the world. Race does not dictate personality and stereotypes are not absolute. However, there are some points that ring true with stereotypes because culture influences behavior.

How to Dump Her

17 Dec

dump her04

break up03

There are a few things that a man must do in his lifetime to be able to call himself a man. He must grow a beard or some other acceptable form of facial hair, he must build something with his hands, and he must date a girl. These are not arbitrary happenings in the average man’s life; they are requirements. They represent separate rites of passage into manhood – the physical, mental, and the emotional aspects of manhood – and they are necessary for proper masculine development. Facial hair can be removed with a razor on a whim, anything that is built can be easily destroyed, but getting rid of a unwanted lover can be more difficult than almost any task you can imagine. Women are wildly unpredictable and volatile when being attacked, and nothing feels more threatening to any person than telling them that they are unwanted. There are rules to dumping your girlfriend, and you should adhere strictly to them.

 

Rule #1: No Cliches

Save the old, “It’s not you, it’s me,” for the movie screen. If you are dumping someone, then most likely, they are doing something that you can not deal with. Have some integrity, and tell them that there are real problems in the relationship and you want to leave. She will respect you for your honesty even if she does not want to break up. Tell your girlfriend the reasons that led you to your decision to break up with her instead of telling her that you are inadequate – no matter how true that may be. Let her know that she has some fault in the situation.

Rule #2:Say It In Person

With the popularity of social media today, people, especially the younger generation, think that all of their personal business and the consequent, correlating emotions should be handled and discussed on the internet. These people are poor, misguided idiots. Facebook is not the place to berate your best friend, and Twitter is not a forum for a public breakup. A breakup should be handled in person so that your ex feels respected despite the news that she is receiving. Respect is necessary in relationship and even more important in splits. Respect is what keeps your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend from throwing bricks throw the windows of your living room and slashing the tires on your car. She has to respect you or fear you for you to escape this fate. And, fear gets you arrested, gets you a criminal record, and gets you a restraining order from Brenda even though you never touched her…and you only showed up to her job one time…and you did not really know that stalking her was a crime. I hate you Brenda, but I digress.

Rule #3: Be Honest

Tell your girlfriend the truth about the reasons behind your breakup unless the truth is that you regularly banged her mother, sister, best friend, and dog together in a hot tub filled with honey mustard. Anything short of that exact scenario should be shared with full candor. Tell her that her arm pits give off the heady aroma of a pack of sweaty testicles, and that you are tired smelling like the boy’s high school locker room after you hug her. Tell her that she is so boring in bed that watching the grass grow on your lawn is exponentially more entertaining than having sex with her. Tell her that she is not pretty. But, whatever the reason for the breakup, tell her the truth.

mean boyfriend

Rule #4: Be The Bad Guy

Being the bad guy does not mean that you have to be insulting or just plain mean to her, but it does mean that you possibly may not be her best friend after the breakup. You have to allow her to hate you. People always say that they can still be friends after a breakup, but that is not always an option. The truth can be pretty ugly, especially when it is conveyed about someone’s inadequacies. When you tell her that she just is not enough for you, you have to understand that she may be less than happy.

 

Rule #5: No Makeup Sex

The ‘No Makeup Sex’ rule continues to be the most difficult rule to adhere to. Some guys are just assholes, so being an abrasive jerk to a woman is not too taxing. But, most men are vulnerable to sexual advances regardless of the situation. And, makeup sex is always passionate and erotic. Women perform more impassioned and are more emotionally accessible after a breakup. They pull you in with lucid, flirty comments and before you know it, you are stuck in the same predicament that you left days earlier. Under no circumstances should you ever sleep with a woman after dumping her. There was a legitimate reason that you left. Stick to your guns – and keep your gun in the holster.

And if none of this works, then you can always try to break up gracefully.

Worst Tattoos Ever

17 Dec

worst tattoos - simpsons comic book guy

Studs: All In or All Out

13 Dec

cartoon - bugs bunny

By MJ5

The opinions of the author do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of Answersfrommen.com. They are the beliefs of a individual guest writer of the website.  A funny one at that …

 

When I was a child, one of the things I looked forward to every weekend was getting up early on Saturday morning to watch my cartoons. I was a kid who grew up on Animaniacs, Smurfs, He-Man, Voltron, Transformers, Tom and Jerry, Tail Spin, and the Tic. If you were born in the late 70’s or early 80’s, we had exponentially better cartoon programming than the crap that’s on TV now.

No matter how many cartoons came and went, my all-time favorite cartoon character was Bugs Bunny. It’s hard to believe, but Bugs Bunny has been around for over 70 years!! He has survived generations and will continue to do so.The reason I liked Bugs is because he was smaller than all his opponents he faced, less armed than Elmer Fudd, and smarter than them all! No matter what the issue, Bugs figured a way to trick to his enemies into giving up messing with him!

However, when I got older, one of my best friends ruined my impression of Bugs forever. He explained to me that Bugs Bunny was gay or at least flirted with it A LOT. Before I let my friend finish his argument we almost got into a physical fight for him talking about my childhood idol Bugs. Then, he showed it to me on the internet and he proved it without saying another word!!

Bugs was a damn cross dresser and used it every time he could!

 

One of the mottos I have chosen to live my life by is “Go Big or Go Home!” Basically, if you’re going to commit to something, commit to it all the way! If you’re going to commit to being a better person, better father, better anything, go all the way through with it! Don’t let anyone ever say you half-stepped something at the end. If you’re going to be a coldhearted murderer, go all the way. Be defined by the choice you made, don’t play both sides of the fence! One of the situations that my motto has struggles with is crossdressing. I have NO issue with anyone else’s lifestyle or what they like. I just want them to fully commit to their sexuality. Don’t be Bugs Bunny and switch teams just cause it benefits you at the time.

After I saw Bugs on the internet, my respect for Bugs Bunny ended immediately because Bugs was in direct clash with the motto I live by. Bugs Bunny is a cross dressing, sexually ambiguous rabbit. The only real reason you know Bugs is supposed to be a guy is because he changes when he dresses in drag and acts more ‘feminine’. Bugs plays for both teams and I had to let him go!!

I don’t watch reruns of Bugs Bunny and really hadn’t talked about him much until now (I am seeking therapy).

 

STUDS

As a man who loves women, there is nothing that I can’t stand MORE than a damn stud! Like Bugs Bunny, studs never choose a distinct direction with their lives. They play both sides of sexuality and use that to their advantage. Somehow in 2012, they became my direct competition in trying to find low self esteemed, daddy issues women. For centuries, men had this part of the market cornered. Depending on what part of the country you live in, studs are coming up quickly and taking part of the market share. There are less and less non-confident women out there because some of them are choosing to date the studs. They want the benefit of both men and women, and studs are providing it.

Men, it’s because Studs are cheating!!

It’s about time they start playing by the rules! MAN RULES!

 

From now on, I believe the government should step in and require studs to follow a few rules (punishable by 30 days in jail, per occurence).

 

1. No Stud Should Get In Free during Women Free Before …

It is NOT FAIR for you to jump back on the other side of the fence just to be able to get in free. You are playing the MAN card, play it all the way, reach in your damn wallet, and PAY! Why should you get in free when you are there to talk to women just like the men!?!? When the club promoter used FREE ADMISSION as a marketing plan to attract women, I am sure that they didn’t envision a real life Bugs Bunny: the mustache growing, sexually ambiguous female dude. Don’t call it discrimination, just pay your $20 just like every other guy!

 

2. Every Stud should be permanently equipped with a strap on that I am going to invent!! This new engineered phallus is going to act and behave like a real penis and you only get ONE that’s drawn by random selecting. It will be assigned by serial number so you can’t trade it in to get a bigger one later. If men can’t change their size right now, you shouldn’t be able to go buy a bigger didlo because you decided to sleep with a chick who is too big for your current strap on. There needs to be big-dicked and small-dicked studs. I am looking forward to the day a stud gets talked about at the office for having a small penis! If men are subject to this scrutiny due to no fault of their own, small dicked studs should be made of fun, too! Just play by the same rules!

 

3. My re-invented strap on will also have a timer on it that randomly determines a time where the unit goes soft in the middle of sex. It’s not fair for Studs to be able to brag that they fucked a girl all night! NO SHIT, you are fucking with plastic! It never goes soft!

 

4. My reinvented strap on will also have a place to ensure that Studs have the ability to pee through it! There is no reason a chick should be experimenting in order to avoid a guy that pees on the toilet seat. With my new invention, women will know that a stud will too!

 

5. The ability to get a woman pregnant and pay child support. My new reinvented strap on will also come pre-loaded with sperm so that a woman knows she might get pregnant by a Stud too! If a stud wants to assume all the pleasures of having sex with women, they should inherit some of the risks too!

 

6. The freedom for a man to hit a stud for pulling your man card. I would never condone a man hitting a woman; that is completely cowardly. The ONLY exception to the rule is that men should be just as free to hit a stud as they would another man. If a stud steps on your shoe or talks to your girl in the club, they should not be able to jump on the ”Don’t hit me, I am a girl” side of the fence to avoid physical confrontation. Being a man has its risks and rewards – do not accept all the rewards without accepting some of the risks too!

 

I know there are a lot of men out there who absolutely love lesbians and have either had their threesome, or out there trying to get one! I am sure you do not want to invite another woman into your bed who looks and acts like you! We love women who love women who look like women!

These studs are trying to play you! If they want to act like men and get the enjoyable Kitties we do, they should have to play by the same rules!!! A bear can’t truly disguise himself as a fish to hunt fish! A lion can’t go hide as a gazelle in order to eat gazelles.  There are certain rules of nature and I believe some studs violate those rules! Studs should not be able to act like Pussies to be able to get Pussy!

#IMJUSTSAYING

PLAY BY THE RULES AND EVERYTHING IS FINE WITH ME