Paste your Google Webmaster Tools verification code here
Archive | Rants RSS feed for this section

Real Reasons the Zombie Apocalypse Could Happen

24 Sep



1. Zombification Exists in Animals

Several different simple organisms in the animal kingdom take over the natural processes of animals to insure that their genes are passed on to another generation. Leucochloridium paradoxum, a flatworm that infects snails, forces them to grow pulsating antennae that make them look like caterpillars and ultimately attracts birds which eat them. This flatworm then matures in the gut of the bird and lays eggs into its rectum that are passed in the animal’s feces. Snails then eat the droppings and repeat the cycle. Ants are infected by Cordyceps unilateralis, a fungus that spreads its spores by causing ants to climb high on top of plants and have its head explode. Jewel wasps inject cockroaches with a venom that immobilizes them. The wasp then lays eggs inside of the roach and the larvae eat the live roach from the inside out. There are numerous other cases of real animals whose brains are changed and controlled by another animal who feeds on them. But, one of the most potentially dangerous zombifications is caused by toxoplasmosa gondii. This single-celled organism can only mature in the intestines of a cat, so it infects rats and makes them insanely unafraid of its biggest predator. Ultimately, the rat scurries towards the cat, is eaten, the parasite reproduces in the cats bowels, and is excreted in cat feces. The scariest part of this tale is that one of four humans is already infected with this organism. Fortunately, our immune system fights off illness attributed to this organism. But, what happens when it mutates or is made stronger by bio-engineering? Zombies. That’s what happens.

2. The National Bio and Agro- Defense Lab

Our government is building a research center to combat bio- and agricultural warfare, in Manhattan, Kansas. The Department of Homeland Security states: The food and agriculture industry is a significant contributor to U.S. economic prosperity; therefore, the loss of a significant food market would have dire economic and potentially human health consequences. Translation: One of the most likely ways that some crazy, tyrant dictator would attack us is through our food. The facility will specialize in creating effective and inexpensive solutions to both weapons that taint or food and through other possible biological attacks (man made disease, chemical warfare, etc). The research facility’s biggest strength is also its largest weakness, its location. The National Bio and Agro- Defense is located near a major hub of the veterinary pharmaceutical industry and placed in close proximity to research of several other missions in bio-security. The resources to study biological and agricultural threats is present in Manhattan, Kansas, however the location of the plant is also in the heartland of our country, almost perfectly centered in the US. If a terrorist infiltrated the facility and released a biological weapon or if there was an accidental leak of a particularly virulent disease, it would spread into an epidemic quickly.

3. Zombification Exists…In Humans

Cows have introduced us to the first step in our zombification, and interestingly enough, their zombification happened as a result of being fed their own remains by us. Cows who are fed bovine remains go insane and attack anything that comes near them. When humans eat the meat of these cows, they develop Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. It is caused by proteins called prions. Prions cause normal proteins to fold abnormally and thus makes them unable to function properly. This disease causes confusion, hallucinations, and dementia.  It causes muscle stiffness, muscle twitching, seizures, lack of coordination, and speech impairment. Sound familiar?

4. Epidemics

Quite simply, we are due for another big epidemic. We had the bubonic plague, smallpox, leprosy, malaria, and AIDS. Most of these diseases are fairly contained or at least well medicated now. Leprosy and smallpox no longer exist. Analysts talk constantly about the overpopulation of Earth, and every time the Earth has began to reach its capacity, some new disease decimates the world population.

Independent Women

28 Aug

independent woman

By William Bixby. Enjoy.

we can do it02

Recently, there has been another movement across the nation towards more equality for women. Women are more empowered today than they have ever been, and with better education, better pay, and stronger vibrators, ladies are finding less practical uses for men. They truly are becoming independent. Women can live prosperously without the help of any man.

However, some of these women have this independence concept slightly misconstrued. Ladies, if you are living at home with your parents, then you are not an independent woman. If you are driving a car that you did not buy, then you are not self-sufficient. If you are living in a house with a mortgage that you can not pay, behind on your car payments, behind on your taxes, and not paying any of your bills for whatever reason, believe me, you are not an independent woman. Independent women are competent and rely on themselves. They pay their bills on time with money that they have earned through hard work, not by having over-indulgent parents or a stable of male suitors ready to give them anything that they want. Independence is gained through mature decisions and stable income, not through getting pregnant by the right guy or being born into the right family.

The real problem with independent women is that they rarely are independent. And, even when women are financially competent, they often think erroneously that men are useless if they do not earn more. Just because a woman is fiscally responsible for herself, that does not mean she does not need anyone emotionally. There is a large misconception that the new woman does not want or need a man for anything. Both men and women need intimacy to be fulfilled. Case studies show that infant primates died within days without contact from other primates. Humans are not solitary creatures; they need contact from others too. This means independent women need contact. They require close emotional connections and interactions with men, just as men do. So, even if these women are financially responsible, they are still dependent on men for emotional support.

And, the biggest problem with independent women is their effect on the family structure. All the celebrity moms and Oprah will make women believe that having children is an easy task, however raising kids requires two parents. If a father is absent and will not assume responsibility for his children, then being a single parent is the only option. But, if a woman chooses to be single parent in the wake of a failed relationship, instead of sharing responsibility, then she is hurting her child. Women nurture children which is necessary to their development and well-being. But, men play important roles in the development of children too. Girls need fathers to learn how to love and what to look for in a mature, loving relationship. The men in a woman’s life give her positive or negative role models that set the standard for all the men that she will date in her adulthood. Fathers show their sons how to be men. Men carry a separate set of codes and ethics that differ from what women believe, and it is their burden to pass these ethics to the next generation of men. A woman, no matter how intelligent and well-meaning, can not teach a man how to be a man. Their independence undermines the value of fathers and children need their fathers. And the images that rich, Hollywood single mothers give of healthy well-rounded children give real working mothers a false sense or reality about raising kids. They pay nannies to parent their children while they are away on vacation. Real mothers look to their partners for support.

single mother02

This is the real independent woman.

As the father of a young daughter, I have the responsibility of teaching her to be self-sufficient and self-reliant, but not self-centered and solitary. Teaching young women to be responsible is necessary and even admirable, but teaching them that men are useless is foolish and irresponsible. Women and men need each other to love, live, and provide the best healthy environment for children. There is no such thing as independence, women.

I’ve Never Had Any Complaints

29 Jun


do better

It’s about to get real ladies.

The absolute worst phrase that a woman has ever uttered to any man is probably, “The child is yours,” but a close second is the infamous, “I’ve never had any complaints.” This statement is an excuse. It is an justification for women to settle into mediocrity. ”I’ve never had any complaints,” is both rationalizing and reductive, and when women use it to define their sexual prowess the phrase is just apathetic. That phrase always precedes some woman’s disappointing sex acts, and the blame is at least partially on men because they never complain. Well ladies, today is the day that we change that. Today is the day that men complain.

No woman has ever gotten any complaints because no man wants to stop the flow of sex from coming his way. Any sex is better than no sex or “solo sex”. However, that does not mean that you as a woman are doing even an adequate job in the sex department. And, since we are on the subject of “jobs”, let us start with the fine art of fellatio. First, if there is still a woman out there that does not believe in giving her guy a little extra attention down there, then she should be shot. This is not a joke. You cavewomen with your prudish notions about blowjobs should literally be taken out into a pasture and put down like Ol’ Yeller. You are outdated and have no place in modern society. And, on a related note for the rest of womankind, the fact that no one has ever complained about getting a little head from you does not mean that you are actually good at it. There are quite a few misconceptions about the blow job, so let us clear them up. First and foremost, a kiss and three licks on the man pole does not constitute oral sex. Just because you showed up to the party does not mean that everybody had a good time, and the simple act of your mouth touching a penis does not mean that you have had oral sex. You have to spend some time in the nether regions if you want him to enjoy the act. So, dig in and put your head in your man’s lap for an extended time. Second, if you are not excited about giving some special attention to a guy, then do not do it. Blow jobs are about enthusiasm. A woman with absolutely no technique who loves penises beats a woman who is disinterested in oral sex on any day. Your guy will be excited if you are excited. Pant loudly or yell “I’M COO COO FOR COCOA PUFFS!” It doesn’t matter. But, be excited and energetic. Third, do not grab and pull the penis like you are trying to start a lawnmower. It is the most sensitive part of a man’s body and you should treat it as such. Technique and finesse play a strong supporting role to enthusiasm in oral sex even though they are not as important. And finally, the biggest misconception about blowjobs is that the lack of a complaint about the actual blowjob means that it was good. Blowjobs are like pizza, even the worst slice of pizza that you could imagine is still better than having no pizza. This is yet another reason that men do not complain.

Now, let me gripe on behalf of all men about the piss poor act that you call sex. Up to a third of women still think that just allowing a man to climb on top of them and and jack hammer away at them is a good enough attempt at making him happy in the bedroom. They believe that lying perfectly still while a guy puts in work passes for sex. Those women are completely deluded. Most men would rather take a roundhouse kick to the baby maker than sleep with a dead fish more than once. Ladies, sex is all in the hips. If you learn how to move your hips, you will please your man. And more importantly, you will become the usher of your own orgasms. Yes, that phrase sounds like some bromidic self help theme, but ladies, there are a lot of you who are waiting for a guy to break the code of your orgasm. If you do not know how to climax by yourself and you do not know what feels good to you sexually, then why would you expect a person with completely different equipment to know how to bring you to climax? You are responsible for your own orgasms. Guys are mindless drones who are active participants in sex, and honestly, most of them do not have a clue of what they are doing in the bedroom. That means that you have to know what you are doing to truly enjoy yourself during sex. You may never read this again in a public forum, but please take it to heart. Ladies, learn to masturbate. It is not a dirty word, and no one is asking you to record the session and send the tape to your local news station for the world to see. When you get some time to yourself, and no one is around, it may be time to get to know your body. The more comfortable you are with your body, the more likely you are to be comfortable and orgasmic when another warm body is next to yours. And, just because that warm body does not complain about what you do sexually does not mean that you are an exciting sexual partner.

Ladies, men are usually satiated by getting regular sex from a woman, but the lack of formal complaints from guys does not mean that you are doing well in the bedroom. Most guys are too afraid to say that you are terrible in bed for fear of never having sex with you at all. But, now you have the truth and all men hope that you use it to your advantage and ultimately his.

I know what you’re thinking now, but I’m only the messenger

P.S. Hand jobs are completely pointless. Blow him, bang him, or leave him the hell alone. Why do something to a guy that he could do better by himself?

What Is White Priviledge?

25 Jun

white privilege03

What exactly is white privilege?

Let me be clear. I do not expect anything positive to come of me broaching this subject because race matters are so volatile. I am very hesitant to speak about race in public forums because in racial discussions people generally convey polarized opinions based solely in their own experiences, and then ultimately fail to listen to the positions of others. However, this subject necessitates that we address the matter. Hopefully, I can raise awareness on white privilege by exposing different forms of the phenomena to prove that it does exist because the refusal to believe in its existence only further propagates the matter.

Until recently, I had never heard of white privilege, but the concept of this term is very familiar. And, I think that Black people, in general, have been cognizant of this phenomena for a long time though it previously was not given a name. The idea of white privilege encompasses both the advantages that White people are afforded simply by being White and the consequent sense of entitlement that some White people have because of it. White privilege is not always a conscious decision by the majority to unfairly receive the benefits of being in Caucasian, but that does not mean that there are no inherent advantages to being White. Being a member of the majority allows White Americans to live a certain lifestyle and have expectations that other people are not afforded. And, members of the majority receive several tangible and intangible benefits simply by being the majority. Chris Rock, a famous Black comedian said in jest that, there’s a one legged, homeless White guy in the crowd (of one of his stand-up routines) that would not trade places with him, and he’s rich. That is how good being White is. And, Rock is not far off base. White men still are the highest earning group of people even when other races and genders have comparable educational accomplishments and societal backgrounds. Despite the “findings” of The Bell Curve, studies by numerous scientists and scholars have found that intelligence and the consequent ability to succeed are not linked to any racial group. Though there is a connection between heredity and intelligence, there is no genetic predisposition that is expressed more consistently in any group of humans, and similar levels of intelligence are found across all races (In English, no race is any smarter than any other one). Therefore, pay rates should not be disproportionately distributed to the people of any one ethnic group or sex. Black men make 75 cents to every dollar a White man makes, Hispanic men make 67 cents to that dollar, and White women earned 78 cents to every dollar that White men earned. Higher pay and many other resultant advantages are still afforded to White people more readily than they are to other groups of people. And, having a higher income means having better choices in life. White people enjoy living in better neighborhoods and utilize all the subsequent surrounding security, better schools, and nicer restaurants that are established in those neighborhoods. Having the right skin color provides more financial stability which allows more access to better amenities. The higher salaries paid for a better standard of life for White people and their families. This is the essence of white privilege. The Bell Curve has been discredited, and people of all races have been scientifically proven to have similar levels of intelligence, so if these people also have similar education, comparable experience, and indistinguishable titles, the disparity in income has to be attributed to preferential treatment.

This flesh colored band-aid only matches one type of skin color. 

And, there are even more advantages to being White than the obvious advantages of better salaries, better neighborhoods, and better schools. More subtle and imperceptible benefits are also incurred. White Americans enjoy a culture that caters exclusively to them. Consider this, Band-Aid, which was founded in 1920, only made “flesh” colored or “nude” bandages until 1951 when the first Disney bandages were introduced. These flesh colored Band-Aids were a peach colored variety that only matched the skin color of one particular group of people. The idea that people with darker skin tones desired to have a product that represented them was not addressed until the 80′s when clear bandages were introduced. But, though clear bandages match every skin color, they do not camouflage wounds the way that the flesh colored ones were intended to by blending in with “fairer” skin. Most people, or more specifically most White people, do not see why such a small subject as Band-Aids has caused so much turmoil. Therein lies the complexity and the profundity of the idea of white privilege. People who are born White rarely consider the plight of other races because American society is set to accommodate them. Meanwhile, people of other races become disillusioned by the lack of compassion and equality shown by White people. Imagine wearing a product for years because of its utilitarian aspects, and then finding out that it was made specifically for another type of person. People of the majority can safely assume that when they pick up a product, it was made with them specifically in mind. When a White person applies for school, a job, or a loan they will most likely be seen by someone of their color. When they have to speak to an authoritative figure in a company, they can assume that they will speak with someone who looks like them. This is an advantage. White people can assume that they will be helped by someone who sees a reflection of themselves when they are in stressful situations, and therefore may have an unspoken connection with that person that a person of color may not have. Several studies show that people with ethnic names are less likely to be called for job interviews. Caucasian people do not have to worry about employees following them around stores because of preconceived biases, or being profiled for crimes because of their ethnicity. That is a distinct advantage over people of color who enter many situations where judgments have been made about them despite their accomplishments and background. White people can expect that there will be no discrimination simply because of their appearance. They know that they will be judged on their own merit and not on the performances of previous workers from their respective race. White people are also presumed to be non-threatening.  White privilege (and being a woman, so gender privilege too) allowed Jan Brewer enough access through security to point her finger in the face of the President of the United States while scolding him publicly. Any man would have immediately been seen as a threat and taken out by the Secret Services. But, even a minority woman would probably have been quickly apprehended. Black and Hispanic women are stereotyped as angry and unpredictable. And, Asian and Middle Eastern woman could be deemed terrorists and arrested. Jan Brewer exploited the advantages that her skin color (and sex) gave her and undermined the authority that is inherent in the position of President Obama. Believe it or not, she was applauded for this by some conservatives, and to add insult to injury, she said that she felt threatened by Pres. Obama. White privilege allowed Rep. Joe Wilson to yell, “You lie!” at President Obama during Obama’s healthcare speech. It allows Donald Trump, a civilian, to publicly call for his birth certificate. No president has ever been so publicly disrespected, and no other president has been African American. There has always been a certain level of decorum that was upheld when addressing the president. White privilege affords these people the “courage” to do things that they would never dream of doing if the president was White. The aforementioned White men and woman are so accustomed to feeling superior to minorities, that even though Barack Obama is the leader of the free world, they think that they are above him and have the right to speak to him in any way that they please.

Who looks threatening here?

White privilege has inundated the fabric of this country because White people still hold most positions of power in the country. It courses throughout some of our most hallowed institutions like the judicial system. 51.2% of the active U.S. circuit court judges are White men, and 25.3% are White women. And, the examples of the disparity between the way White people and minorities are treated are rife within the courts. Kelly Williams-Bolar, a Black mother of two, was convicted of a felony because she used her father’s address as her place of residence so that she could give her kids a better education. The school district spent thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to hire private investigators to follow Williams-Bolar for months. They accused her of defrauding the tax payers of upwards of $40,000, arrested her, and kicked the children out of school. Casey Anthony, a White mother of a small child, was found not guilty of any serious crimes with the death of her own daughter. Her daughter went missing for 30 days before the authorities were alerted to the situation. Her car was in tow with trash, duct tape, chloroform, hair that was comparable to her daughter’s hair, and the smell of decomposition emitting from it. She was found to have searched chloroform on the internet, and her ex-boyfriend sent her at least one message about using the chemical to solve her problems. Granted, most of the evidence was circumstantial, but how many mothers would wait a month to report their child missing? And, how many law-abiding citizens have chloroform, duct tape, and something rotting in their trunk? Troy Davis (A Black man) was accused and executed for the murder of a police officer without any physical evidence linking him to the crime while Samuel Crowe (A White man) admitted to the murder of a co-worker and escaped the death penalty. Crowe said that he hit the man in the head with a paint can, poured paint on him, and beat him to death with a crowbar. He was granted clemency by the governor and is now serving a life sentence. To this day, selling the raw, powdered form of cocaine carries a penalty that is two to three times less severe than selling crack cocaine. Crack is a cheaper and more urban drug than raw cocaine, thus the harsher penalties unequally affect minorities more than the majority. Being White can be a great advantage in the court system. And, take into account that being White means having a better job, better financial standing, and more resources to fight criminal charges once you are thrust into the judicial system.

But, White privilege does not only reside in the arenas where we as Americans consume, govern ourselves, and work. No, White privilege has an even more attenuate approach in everyday life. The effects of socialization and stereotypes on American society is apparent in the entertainment that we choose. And our avocations reflect our haughty ideals about White people (privilege is founded in our conceptions about the superiority of White people) and their perceptions of themselves. The highest rated and the highest grossing movies are those that feature White people as the protagonists. White privilege insures that the White people assume top roles and get top pay. Plus, the constant stream of White heroes reinforces a standard that Caucasian people are better people. Even in the movies that have minority stars, those stars are subservient and saved by White people. Morgan Freeman was nominated for his second Oscar in Driving Ms. Daisy, where he played the chauffeur of a elderly White woman. He was berated and belittled by her constantly until they developed a friendship later in the movie. Viola Davis was nominated for an Oscar for The Help where she played a maid during racially volatile times. In order to get any civil rights, she needed “the help” of her white employers. The critically acclaimed and highly awarded Amistad was a realistic depiction of slavery and a collection of slaves that overthrew their captors. But, though they fought and freed themselves from oppression, the story was not complete until an inexperienced altruistic attorney won their freedom from the law. In fact, the story of this collection of slaves who freed themselves from oppression was an afterthought in the movie.

White privilege is real. It gives people of the majority obvious advantages in the real world, and it bolsters the tenet that White people are superior which ultimately exacerbates the problem. White people may not openly recognize the benefits that come with being a member of their race, however that does not mean that they do not reap them. Being White in America is an advantage. The idea of White privilege is akin to being on a moving sidewalk in the airport. Everyone is moving in the same direction, however the person on the conveyor belt does not have to put forth much effort to get to the same place that other people are desperately working to reach. Higher salaries are an advantage. Better neighborhoods are an advantage. So are better school systems. Being interviewed or being judged by someone who can relate to you is beneficial to you. And, having benefitted from a system that helped your advancement does make you a bad person. But, failing to recognize that the same system is stopping people of other races from reaching their full potential is detrimental to the health and the public perception of our country. And, there can be no equality in America until there is a shift in the mindset of the American majority.