Paste your Google Webmaster Tools verification code here
Archive | Rants RSS feed for this section

Do Women Really Want Equality

14 Nov

workplace baby

The views expressed in the following article do not necessarily reflect the opinions of They are the expressed opinions of the author only.

I am pretty sure that this article will not be popular with the few feminists that regularly read, but this issue has plagued many different men in the workforce and in normal life, so it has to be addressed. Women regularly say that they want equal rights, but do they really want equal responsibilities and all the corresponding expectations that come with full equality? Absolutely not. Women do not want full impartiality in the workplace, because there are inherent obligations that come along with that pay. Most women want to have their cake and eat it too.

This is not to denigrate women. The fairer sex are fully capable of doing the same job that a man can do in the office. They are just as intelligent, just as capable of making sound decisions, and usually more organized than men. However, men still earn more in the office for a few logical reasons.

The first reason is that men are generally more career-driven than women. Men are more likely to work longer hours while ignoring their family life to get ahead of their professional competition. That does not mean that guys are better at their jobs. In fact, it is somewhat of an indictment of the terrible priorities of men, but it is true. According to Forbes, men generally work 8.14 hours per day as opposed to 7.75 hours daily for women. And yes, there are plenty of women who forgo a family to concentrate on their careers, but the majority of women take different factors into account when choosing a career. Women are more likely to trade higher wages for more affable benefits, particularly those women who have or want to have children. And when children are involved, there are specific occasions where women are afforded more benefits than their male counterparts. The most glaring occurrence of this type of inequality in the workplace is the paid leave of absence when a child is born. Women are given three to six months paid vacation for childbirth. Granted, this leave of absence is necessary on both a physical and a societal level. Physically, women need to heal from the corporeal stress that labor puts on the body. And emotionally, women need to bond with their children so that we have well-adjusted adults taking care of us twenty years from now. Being a mother is a special type of hard work that no man could do, but men have no equivalent to this type of allowance in the workplace. And, though the sacrifice that women make for society is immeasurable, that sacrifice affects companies bottom line. Women are less valuable to corporations because women are so valuable to humankind. And yes, some compensation should be made for them, however that compensation probably will not come from big businesses.

The second logical reason that men earn more is because men and women choose different fields of work. The higher paying salaries are similar across race and gender, though men do occupy significantly more white collar positions. However, the lower paying jobs show more disparity between the sexes. Statistics by the U.S. Census show that men are more likely to work blue collar jobs, and women are more likely to work clerical jobs. Well, there are more opportunities for high-paying blue collar jobs than there are for clerical jobs. And there are more chances for advancement in blue collar jobs than there are in clerical jobs. Women work in various industries, but the ones where female presence dominates have fewer opportunities for advancement.

Women are unfairly discriminated against in many ways in the office, but discrimination in pay has been grossly overstated. There are other factors that contribute to the disparity in pay between the sexes. Choice of occupation by itself accounts for one-fourth of the wage gap. Though women do get an unfair share of wages, there is no argument for full equality in pay.

Real Reasons the Zombie Apocalypse Could Happen

24 Sep



1. Zombification Exists in Animals

Several different simple organisms in the animal kingdom take over the natural processes of animals to insure that their genes are passed on to another generation. Leucochloridium paradoxum, a flatworm that infects snails, forces them to grow pulsating antennae that make them look like caterpillars and ultimately attracts birds which eat them. This flatworm then matures in the gut of the bird and lays eggs into its rectum that are passed in the animal’s feces. Snails then eat the droppings and repeat the cycle. Ants are infected by Cordyceps unilateralis, a fungus that spreads its spores by causing ants to climb high on top of plants and have its head explode. Jewel wasps inject cockroaches with a venom that immobilizes them. The wasp then lays eggs inside of the roach and the larvae eat the live roach from the inside out. There are numerous other cases of real animals whose brains are changed and controlled by another animal who feeds on them. But, one of the most potentially dangerous zombifications is caused by toxoplasmosa gondii. This single-celled organism can only mature in the intestines of a cat, so it infects rats and makes them insanely unafraid of its biggest predator. Ultimately, the rat scurries towards the cat, is eaten, the parasite reproduces in the cats bowels, and is excreted in cat feces. The scariest part of this tale is that one of four humans is already infected with this organism. Fortunately, our immune system fights off illness attributed to this organism. But, what happens when it mutates or is made stronger by bio-engineering? Zombies. That’s what happens.

2. The National Bio and Agro- Defense Lab

Our government is building a research center to combat bio- and agricultural warfare, in Manhattan, Kansas. The Department of Homeland Security states: The food and agriculture industry is a significant contributor to U.S. economic prosperity; therefore, the loss of a significant food market would have dire economic and potentially human health consequences. Translation: One of the most likely ways that some crazy, tyrant dictator would attack us is through our food. The facility will specialize in creating effective and inexpensive solutions to both weapons that taint or food and through other possible biological attacks (man made disease, chemical warfare, etc). The research facility’s biggest strength is also its largest weakness, its location. The National Bio and Agro- Defense is located near a major hub of the veterinary pharmaceutical industry and placed in close proximity to research of several other missions in bio-security. The resources to study biological and agricultural threats is present in Manhattan, Kansas, however the location of the plant is also in the heartland of our country, almost perfectly centered in the US. If a terrorist infiltrated the facility and released a biological weapon or if there was an accidental leak of a particularly virulent disease, it would spread into an epidemic quickly.

3. Zombification Exists…In Humans

Cows have introduced us to the first step in our zombification, and interestingly enough, their zombification happened as a result of being fed their own remains by us. Cows who are fed bovine remains go insane and attack anything that comes near them. When humans eat the meat of these cows, they develop Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. It is caused by proteins called prions. Prions cause normal proteins to fold abnormally and thus makes them unable to function properly. This disease causes confusion, hallucinations, and dementia.  It causes muscle stiffness, muscle twitching, seizures, lack of coordination, and speech impairment. Sound familiar?

4. Epidemics

Quite simply, we are due for another big epidemic. We had the bubonic plague, smallpox, leprosy, malaria, and AIDS. Most of these diseases are fairly contained or at least well medicated now. Leprosy and smallpox no longer exist. Analysts talk constantly about the overpopulation of Earth, and every time the Earth has began to reach its capacity, some new disease decimates the world population.

Independent Women

28 Aug

independent woman

By William Bixby. Enjoy.

we can do it02

Recently, there has been another movement across the nation towards more equality for women. Women are more empowered today than they have ever been, and with better education, better pay, and stronger vibrators, ladies are finding less practical uses for men. They truly are becoming independent. Women can live prosperously without the help of any man.

However, some of these women have this independence concept slightly misconstrued. Ladies, if you are living at home with your parents, then you are not an independent woman. If you are driving a car that you did not buy, then you are not self-sufficient. If you are living in a house with a mortgage that you can not pay, behind on your car payments, behind on your taxes, and not paying any of your bills for whatever reason, believe me, you are not an independent woman. Independent women are competent and rely on themselves. They pay their bills on time with money that they have earned through hard work, not by having over-indulgent parents or a stable of male suitors ready to give them anything that they want. Independence is gained through mature decisions and stable income, not through getting pregnant by the right guy or being born into the right family.

The real problem with independent women is that they rarely are independent. And, even when women are financially competent, they often think erroneously that men are useless if they do not earn more. Just because a woman is fiscally responsible for herself, that does not mean she does not need anyone emotionally. There is a large misconception that the new woman does not want or need a man for anything. Both men and women need intimacy to be fulfilled. Case studies show that infant primates died within days without contact from other primates. Humans are not solitary creatures; they need contact from others too. This means independent women need contact. They require close emotional connections and interactions with men, just as men do. So, even if these women are financially responsible, they are still dependent on men for emotional support.

And, the biggest problem with independent women is their effect on the family structure. All the celebrity moms and Oprah will make women believe that having children is an easy task, however raising kids requires two parents. If a father is absent and will not assume responsibility for his children, then being a single parent is the only option. But, if a woman chooses to be single parent in the wake of a failed relationship, instead of sharing responsibility, then she is hurting her child. Women nurture children which is necessary to their development and well-being. But, men play important roles in the development of children too. Girls need fathers to learn how to love and what to look for in a mature, loving relationship. The men in a woman’s life give her positive or negative role models that set the standard for all the men that she will date in her adulthood. Fathers show their sons how to be men. Men carry a separate set of codes and ethics that differ from what women believe, and it is their burden to pass these ethics to the next generation of men. A woman, no matter how intelligent and well-meaning, can not teach a man how to be a man. Their independence undermines the value of fathers and children need their fathers. And the images that rich, Hollywood single mothers give of healthy well-rounded children give real working mothers a false sense or reality about raising kids. They pay nannies to parent their children while they are away on vacation. Real mothers look to their partners for support.

single mother02

This is the real independent woman.

As the father of a young daughter, I have the responsibility of teaching her to be self-sufficient and self-reliant, but not self-centered and solitary. Teaching young women to be responsible is necessary and even admirable, but teaching them that men are useless is foolish and irresponsible. Women and men need each other to love, live, and provide the best healthy environment for children. There is no such thing as independence, women.

I’ve Never Had Any Complaints

29 Jun


do better

It’s about to get real ladies.

The absolute worst phrase that a woman has ever uttered to any man is probably, “The child is yours,” but a close second is the infamous, “I’ve never had any complaints.” This statement is an excuse. It is an justification for women to settle into mediocrity. ”I’ve never had any complaints,” is both rationalizing and reductive, and when women use it to define their sexual prowess the phrase is just apathetic. That phrase always precedes some woman’s disappointing sex acts, and the blame is at least partially on men because they never complain. Well ladies, today is the day that we change that. Today is the day that men complain.

No woman has ever gotten any complaints because no man wants to stop the flow of sex from coming his way. Any sex is better than no sex or “solo sex”. However, that does not mean that you as a woman are doing even an adequate job in the sex department. And, since we are on the subject of “jobs”, let us start with the fine art of fellatio. First, if there is still a woman out there that does not believe in giving her guy a little extra attention down there, then she should be shot. This is not a joke. You cavewomen with your prudish notions about blowjobs should literally be taken out into a pasture and put down like Ol’ Yeller. You are outdated and have no place in modern society. And, on a related note for the rest of womankind, the fact that no one has ever complained about getting a little head from you does not mean that you are actually good at it. There are quite a few misconceptions about the blow job, so let us clear them up. First and foremost, a kiss and three licks on the man pole does not constitute oral sex. Just because you showed up to the party does not mean that everybody had a good time, and the simple act of your mouth touching a penis does not mean that you have had oral sex. You have to spend some time in the nether regions if you want him to enjoy the act. So, dig in and put your head in your man’s lap for an extended time. Second, if you are not excited about giving some special attention to a guy, then do not do it. Blow jobs are about enthusiasm. A woman with absolutely no technique who loves penises beats a woman who is disinterested in oral sex on any day. Your guy will be excited if you are excited. Pant loudly or yell “I’M COO COO FOR COCOA PUFFS!” It doesn’t matter. But, be excited and energetic. Third, do not grab and pull the penis like you are trying to start a lawnmower. It is the most sensitive part of a man’s body and you should treat it as such. Technique and finesse play a strong supporting role to enthusiasm in oral sex even though they are not as important. And finally, the biggest misconception about blowjobs is that the lack of a complaint about the actual blowjob means that it was good. Blowjobs are like pizza, even the worst slice of pizza that you could imagine is still better than having no pizza. This is yet another reason that men do not complain.

Now, let me gripe on behalf of all men about the piss poor act that you call sex. Up to a third of women still think that just allowing a man to climb on top of them and and jack hammer away at them is a good enough attempt at making him happy in the bedroom. They believe that lying perfectly still while a guy puts in work passes for sex. Those women are completely deluded. Most men would rather take a roundhouse kick to the baby maker than sleep with a dead fish more than once. Ladies, sex is all in the hips. If you learn how to move your hips, you will please your man. And more importantly, you will become the usher of your own orgasms. Yes, that phrase sounds like some bromidic self help theme, but ladies, there are a lot of you who are waiting for a guy to break the code of your orgasm. If you do not know how to climax by yourself and you do not know what feels good to you sexually, then why would you expect a person with completely different equipment to know how to bring you to climax? You are responsible for your own orgasms. Guys are mindless drones who are active participants in sex, and honestly, most of them do not have a clue of what they are doing in the bedroom. That means that you have to know what you are doing to truly enjoy yourself during sex. You may never read this again in a public forum, but please take it to heart. Ladies, learn to masturbate. It is not a dirty word, and no one is asking you to record the session and send the tape to your local news station for the world to see. When you get some time to yourself, and no one is around, it may be time to get to know your body. The more comfortable you are with your body, the more likely you are to be comfortable and orgasmic when another warm body is next to yours. And, just because that warm body does not complain about what you do sexually does not mean that you are an exciting sexual partner.

Ladies, men are usually satiated by getting regular sex from a woman, but the lack of formal complaints from guys does not mean that you are doing well in the bedroom. Most guys are too afraid to say that you are terrible in bed for fear of never having sex with you at all. But, now you have the truth and all men hope that you use it to your advantage and ultimately his.

I know what you’re thinking now, but I’m only the messenger

P.S. Hand jobs are completely pointless. Blow him, bang him, or leave him the hell alone. Why do something to a guy that he could do better by himself?