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How to Break Up With Her

3 Apr

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couple arguing04You have been dating your girlfriend for nearly a year now, and your infatuation with this hot, young woman is fading away quickly. She almost never wears makeup now, she almost always wears the same hole-ridden, paint-stained jogging pants, and she does not always smell clean down there. You are at the juncture of the relationship where you have to make decision about your future together. What do you do? You break up with her as quickly as possible, but you need to step cautiously. What she says about you to the rest of the world depends solely on your handling of this delicate situation. Here’s how you make a break and save face.

 

1. Pick the location of the break-up conversation well - Never break up with someone at your home or at their place. Executing a break-up in a private setting is asking for a big waterworks display. There are several memories that are unique to your homes, and each one of those memories will come up continuously when you break the news. Find a place that is public, but quiet enough that any outbursts would be poorly received by the management of the establishment. If she still makes a scene, then you will have another reason that you should be together.

2. Have a game plan - When you get to the break-up locale, you should be ready to express all the reasons why the relationship will not work. This is not the time to “wing it.” In order to make a clean break, you have to give valid concerns with your relationship that she also thinks are detrimental to a healthy union. Remember to subtly mention all the extenuating circumstances that caused strife for her towards you in the relationship. Placing a little blame on yourself for your split will not hurt.

3. Do not disclose everything - Regardless of the reasons for the breakup, and even if she asks, do not disclose everything to her. No one wants to hear every deficiency that they have physically and emotionally when someone is rejecting them. These situations call for tact and delicacy. Do not blame her for the failure of relationship, simply state why it has not been working and why it can not work in the future.

This is what happens when you use “you.”

4.  Do not use “you” - If you tell her, “You did this” and “you did that,” then you are alienating and blaming her for the break-up. Even if it is her fault, in a successful separation, she should not feel responsible. The entire conversation should focus on how “we” could not make it work. This makes you an ally rather than an enemy.

5. Do not use too much finality - You are ending the relationship, but you need to use your best discretion. Yes, the romance is over, but there is still a bond between the two of you. Explain that it is not a good idea to keep forcing the romance, but that you genuinely do care for her and want what is best for both of you. You want to use words that point to future possibilities. Saying that the relationship is “over” adds unnecessary abrasiveness to a situation when a woman is already in a vulnerable position. How you phrase your words will decide how well or how poorly she takes the news of your breakup. So harsh “no’s” are off limit, and even though you may have no intention of ever seeing her again, make sure that your language does not dismiss the possibility of at least a friendship in the distant future.

6. Respect her wishes - She may want to call you later to talk about the break-up. Make yourself available. She may never want to talk to you again. Make yourself scarce. Since you are delivering the pain, you also have to dull the blow by being accommodating. The best way to make a clean breakup is to respect the wishes of the woman that you are leaving.

7. Get ready for the backlash - Very few relationships end without a little spat or a try at a re-connection. Be ready for it. Be firm in your stance on the relationship, but be gentle with her feelings. A post breakup fight or fling is completely normal. A big argument or breakup sex closes out the relationship in most cases, however sex should be off the table between the two of you. Inevitably, she will hit the gym 6 hours a day after you break up and look as sexy as she has ever looked. Do not fall for this ploy. Sex with the ex leaves the door open for getting back together.

This is what happens when you don’t listen

Top Ten Sex Mishaps

29 Mar

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By William Bixby

1. You Leave As Soon As The Act Is Done - No one wants to feel used, and a quick exit is ample ammunition for those feelings to arise. The complaints of women who have been used for sex are well documented, however not only women are being exploited. Men are supposed to be emotionless sex fiends, but the truth is that men need intimacy too. Women sometimes use men for sex. So, do your best to show your lover that they are more than a good lay. Stay with them and talk for a little while after a hot sweaty session together. A good cuddle and a compliment can go a long way in any sexual relationship.

2. You Bring Work Into the Bedroom - There is nothing quite as off-putting as a someone who is always at work regardless of their location. Are you constantly on business related calls, using one of your three phones to talk while working on some “big” project. Work supersedes everything in your life and it is apparent. This personality type is characterized by a pile of work papers that has found a home on the nightstand. The bedroom is for only two activities, sleep and sex. So, drop the extra assignments and leave your work at the job. Your partner does not want to be constantly reminded of their hard work day and your stressful career.

 

3. You Wear The Uniform Daily - Every person appreciates when their lover makes an effort to look sexy for them. Both women and men can get caught up in wearing, sweatpants and a t-shirt, or the  “lounging uniform”, everyday. Change it up occasionally if you want to keep things hot between you. Ladies buy some lingerie or edible underwear and tell your guy that you are wearing them around lunchtime. By dinner, he may be willing to skip the meal altogether for a sexy time. Men, throw out your old ratty underwear and buy some silk or satin boxer shorts. Leave your woman spicy notes around the house and build her anticipation. By the end of the day, she may be ripping your clothes off instead of waiting for you to initiate sex.

 

4. You Are Insecure - You have stretch marks. You have a spare tire. Your breasts are too small. Your hips are too wide. Or maybe your junk is too small. You have spent a little too much time at the table and have grown man boobs. You are too tall. You are too short. Your nose is pointy. Look, everyone has shortcomings. Believe me, no one is flawless. So, figure out what are your strongest attributes and accentuate them. Ladies, if you are uncomfortable with your love handles, then throw on a bustier which accentuates your breasts. If you have small breasts, put on some stockings and show off your legs. Your guy thinks that you are hot. Guys, women are attracted to your confidence. So, believe in yourself and be yourself. Your lady will think that you are sexy.

 

5. You Never Make A Sound - Your partner needs feedback in the bedroom. You do not have to magically transform into a phone sex operator overnight, but an occasionally “ooh” or “aah” might make sex more enticing. If you like the position that you are in then tell your partner. A few grunts and moans works well for your significant other’s ego. Men if your woman gets a little too loud for your comfort, take it as a compliment. Even if she is faking, sometimes the excitement of being allowed to be vocal can lead to a real orgasm.

6. You Are Never the Boss - As a rule, if one sex partner is always giving all the orders in the bedroom, then the other person is either bored or boring. If you are always waiting for your lover to initiate sex and they do all the work, then it is time to make a change. Grab your partner by the waist and jump on them. This applies for both sexes. Your lover will be happy to give over control.

 

7. You Play Connect The Dots - Can your partner anticipate what move you are going to do next? Does he or she automatically switch into missionary right after spooning like he/she read your mind? Well, that is a problem. That means that you are completely predictable. Do not kiss her lips, her neck and her breast in sequence. You have to break all your patterns if you want to continue to please your lover. The entire body is an erogenous zone if the proper touch and anticipation is applied properly. Kiss the insides of her her elbows, her armpits, and the back of her knees. They are full of nerve endings. Caress the inside of her thigh before touching her vagina. It builds anticipation. Stroke her feet. If handled right, you can drive your lady crazy.

 

8. You Do Not Like Oral Sex - Wait, people like you still exist? I get it, genitals are gross and you are a borderline germophobe who uses hand sanitizer after shaking hands with other people. Well, it is no longer the 1950′s and believe me, your lover is dying of boredom in the bedroom. You should act as excited as possible about spending a few intimate moments with your lover, make sure that he or she bathes (maybe you could bathe them as a nice prelude to the festivities), and get yourself ready to travel below the “navel” line. Your partner will appreciate your efforts and may reciprocate. Remember, oral sex should be a staple in the bedroom. After all, everyone enjoys a little extra dessert.

The Last Two Are Just for the Guys

9. You Finish Too Quickly

Every man has or will have a situation where he finishes a little earlier than he expected or he finishes a little quicker than his partner wanted him to finish. At some point in his life, every man will be a “two-pump chump”. Because of the relevance of easily accessible porn and the media’s obsession with sex, people think that sex is supposed to last for hours. The average sexual encounter lasts between 4-20 minutes. So, a quick finish is not always abnormal. Your date may have really turned you on that night or maybe a few months had passed since you got some action. Whatever the reason, the way that you handle this situation will directly affect how your partner receives it, so proactive. Be charming and a little self-deprecating. Tell her that she was just too hot and that you got excited. But, the next time that you have sex, you have to have a game plan too. Try varying the positions and changing speeds. Some sex positions cause more friction which can in turn cause you to finish quickly. Positions where you support your own weight can cause you to flex your pubococcygeus muscles therefore causing you come early. Changing the speed and depth of your penetration can also help you to last longer. When you get excited stop thrusting and push in as deep as possible until the sensation passes. If you know that you are getting lucky, you can even pleasure yourself before the big event. All these methods allow men to delay finishing.

10. You Can Not Get It Up

Unfortunately, every man will face this challenge one day too (and it will be a sad, sad day). The good news is that you have other options at your disposal until your member decides to show up to the party. The day that you can not get it up is a perfect opportunity to show your oral skills or to use the natural dexterity of your fingers. Find the Grafenberg spot (G-spot for you commoners). If you do not make a big deal of it and please her in other ways, then it will not be a big deal.

 

The Reasons She Won’t Text You Back

27 Mar

You had a great date, she laughed the entire time, and maybe the two of you even hooked up after dinner. But, now you can never get in touch with her. You call her, but she will not answer the phone. You can’t even get a text back from her. Did you say something at the end of the date? Was she faking enjoying herself the entire time that she was with you? What happened? She was really in to you on the date, and she said that the two of you would hang out again. Well unfortunately for you, there are a lot of things that could have gone wrong. AnswersFromMen.com is here to walk you through the reasons that your date has not texted you back.

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1. She Never Really Liked You

Women can smile in your face and exchange niceties with you without being mildly interested in you. And, even if the two of you were drunkenly making out at a bar or in the club dry humping to the Cranberries, she still may not be interested in you. You were just a decent-looking guy and a little liquid courage may have led to a few bad decisions for her. When the sun rose, she came to her senses, but now some random guy is calling her (that “rando” is you).

2. She’s Actually Busy

Believe it or not, the world does not actually revolve around you. Sure, you are handsome, funny, in perfect shape, worth a few million, and are the most interesting guy on the planet, but she may have had a few things come up in her life. Things like work, family, or any other arbitrary thing usually comes before the cool guy with whom she met, had dinner, and maybe swapped saliva. Your date may have had an important project due at her job. She may have had a tragic death in her family or sickness in a close relative. She herself may have been ill. Her cat may have had kittens. And, all of these things rank higher on her scale of personal priority list. She may have legitimately been too busy to text you back. Some women do live by their phone.

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3. She Is Not A Good Person

Most people consider other people’s feelings before they act (or fail to act in this case), because the vast majority of human beings have common decency. However, there are some men and women who genuinely think only of themselves and do not care about anyone else’s feelings. They do not consider other people in their actions. And, though some women may not purposely be ignoring and failing to return your calls, this woman is consciously ignoring you. This is the woman that will call you after two months of complete disinterest and ask you to take them out on a date because she wants a free meal. She is self-centered, rude, and inconsiderate. She is not a good person.

4. You Have Been Friend-Zoned

For whatever reason, the woman that you are pursuing does not see you as boyfriend or even booty call material. You may have been too nice on your date and everyone gets tired of the person across from them asking if everything is okay. You may have been too opinionated or too confrontational about some of her core values. If you are vegan, then she probably hates you because nobody can stand vegans except other vegans. Hating meat and meat products is unnatural. Hell, you just might not be her type. Anyone of those things is enough for a woman to stop texting you.

5. You Text Too Much

Nothing screams desperation like a man who calls too much. Men are expected to be stoic, independent, and self-sufficient. Clinginess and being overly needy are possibly the most unattractive traits that you can show as a man. You are expected to live a full and prosperous life by the women who you are trying to impress. Every woman wants a guy who has interests outside of her life. Your life should be so spectacular that she wants to join in on your daily activities. So refrain from sending more than one or two texts every couple of days. If she does not respond by your third text, then stop pursuing her. She is not interested. Constantly sending her text messages will not change her mind or your fate with her.

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6. She Has A Boyfriend

You caught her at the perfect time. She was pissed at her boyfriend, they broke up, and then you swooped in with plenty of liquor and smooth talk. Or maybe, she was in a long distance relationship and she was lonely when you approached her. But, now the woman with whom you spent the last couple of days and her boyfriend have reconciled which makes you the odd man out. Many women are dating multiple guys and if you can keep her attention, then she may stop calling.

7. Her Priorities Changed

She really was into you, you really did hit it off, and there were no other men in her life. You were not imagining things; you had something special together. However, all of a sudden she stopped calling and texting you. Why would she seemingly lose interest overnight? There is a simple answer to this complex question. Something in her life changed. Maybe a loved one died. She could have had a long talk with her parents or her employer about her future. Any of these things could have forced her priorities to shift, and her focus moved from you to another part of her life. She chose herself over you.

8. You Are Boring

When you call, you have nothing to say after a little small talk. Sometimes, you even say that you called because you were bored and then you hold the phone in silence. Everyone’s day is usually fine, so you do not need to ask that question. And, no one wants to listen to you breathing, creep. People, and more specifically women, have so many better options to hold their attention now. If the woman you are dating is beautiful, she has multiple guys who are more interesting than you calling with the same intentions as you. She has social media to fill her time, social activities to keep her moving, and her own personal interests keeping her occupied. Call with a purpose or do not call at all. If you do not keep her engaged and stimulated, then she will stop texting.

How to Approach Women

26 Mar

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Unless you were born with exceptional good looks and unfailing confidence and charm, at some point in your life, you have had a little trouble approaching women. Gaining the attention of and intriguing a woman seems like a daunting task, but it is not nearly as difficult as it appears to be. The average movie makes every guy that tries to pick up a woman a smooth-talking ladies man or an arrogant jerk. However, what you should do in these moments lies somewhere between these two extremes. Men who want to make successful, well-received advances toward ladies should follow these simple steps.*

1. Observe – If you want a good shot at talking to an attractive woman, you should first think about your surroundings, take notice of her clothes, hair, and shoes, and then observe her body language.

  • Location determines your proposed behavior. How you approach a woman in a bar is different from how you would talk to her in a club. What you would do in a club differs completely from what you would do at a coffee shop. Where you are should influence how you approach any attractive woman. If you are in a bookstore, then you know that she reads and she will be standing in the section of books that she likes or will buying. From a simple observation, you have a “mutual” point of interest and an easy conversation piece. If you are in a club, then you should start dancing and coax her out on the floor. Your environment helps guide your method of approach.
  • Different types of women are receptive to different types of advances. A woman who dresses conservatively/formally, with her hair in a ponytail, and has closed-toed flats on her feet, is probably a business woman. Normally, she is more likely to accept a direct approach. A strong willed woman often is only receptive to a strong, genuine approach. A woman donning a free-flowing, brightly colored dress with her hair down and wearing sandals, is at leisure. This woman might respond better to some clever quip about some tiny observance that you have made. The clothes and accessories that a woman wears gives direct  insight into what she favors and into what makes her receptive to another person’s approach. Use her appearance to guide your conversation.
  • Body language is the biggest indicator of approachability. Closed arms and crossed legs express a defensive posture. A woman that has this stance may prove to be difficult to charm, so avoid those people in those positions like the plague. Approach her when her body language is languid and demure.

2. Subtlety – While the fairer sex generally likes their men to be masculine and direct, in the initial meeting a little subtlety is necessary. When you approach a woman, your carnal intentions are assumed and implied prior to you saying anything to the woman. Being subtle personalizes you to the person that you are attempting to pick up and softens your approach.  Walking up to women and starting a conversation can give ladies the feeling of being “hit on.” If she feels like she is being “hit on”, then you have most likely failed. Whenever you talk to a woman she should feel comfortable, and this can be achieved through a gentle touch.

3. Say something, stupid – There are two schools of thought on what you should say to a woman when you are meeting for the first time, the formal introduction method and the witty banter method. The latter is the most successful with actually starting conversations, but different occasions call for different methods. When introducing yourself to a woman in a loud, public place, for example, a direct “Hello, my name is…” is appropriate and necessary. If she noticed you at all, then she saw you walking towards her, and is probably wondering what your intentions are. This will ensure that she is guarded when you approach. Your only logical repose is to give a formal greeting.  If you approach her at a grocery store, then you may may want to jump into a conversation before you tell her who you are. For example, if she has placed laundry detergent in her basket, you may say, “I heard Brand X works really well, is that true?” Once again, you have a “mutual” interest and a conversation piece.

4. Be warm -Most people will tell you to be confident. Confidence works if you can display it without seeming arrogant. There is a very thin line between confidence and cockiness, and if you veer onto the egotistical side, you usually lose the opportunity to date the woman with which you are interested. Instead try to be warm and engaging. Woman can find a little nervousness endearing if they also think that you are a good catch. No one likes a guy that is too into himself. Always listen to her more than you divulge information about you. Women like to talk about themselves, so this should not be difficult.**

5. Watch your language – When talking about whatever subject that you broach in an attempt to get a future meeting with this woman, be sure to use “we” instead of “you” when talking about possible dates.  Theoretically, when you use “we,” subconsciously she makes the association that the two of you could become “we.” Studies show that couples that use we are significantly more successful than couples that use you. This is a sales technique that has some merit outside of the showroom.

Since we are talking about sales…

6. Seal the deal – Ask for her number. You have spent a few minutes wowing her with your extensive knowledge about some inane, unimportant subject. You have smiled and charmed her with your intent listening and witty responses. Now, she is waiting for you to make your move. So, make it. Say how awesome she is, and ask when you can see her again.

7. Repeat process.

*These steps are made with the assumption that you are well groomed and at least appear relatively human. Results may vary depending on various factors including, but not limited to: If you look like a yeti, if she likes how yetis look, how funny you are, how cute she thinks you are, etc.

** Sexist statement of the month, but it is true.