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Why “SlutWalk” is Stupid

16 Apr


Feminists may very well be both the most intelligent and the most clueless collection of people on the planet. They are generally well-educated, delusional women with a chip the size of a boulder sitting on their shoulders (Yes, that misogynist pun about shoulder boulders was intended) The world is against them, and men specifically are the enemy. To feminists, women are victims who need to be protected from the abuse of the patriarchy, and yet they are somehow also smarter, more well-rounded, and more powerful than the men that oppress them. It makes a lot sense, right? Women should be treated as equals to men in the workplace, but they also should be allowed special treatment in the workplace in specific cases. According to feminists, men purposely ignore or intentionally take advantage of females by keeping the inherent power that comes from being a man in a system that caters to men. For them, men are hell bent on keeping women out of power. And though these women have some valid points about the plight of women, their message about men is unfounded and fantastical. Every year, there are a collection of rash, misguided attempts to normalize the female breast and to fight against sexual assault through baring female breasts in public. Their belief systems about sex and the female body regularly cause radical public displays of nudity that alienate the people whom they are attempting to persuade and simultaneously gives the debauchees and perverts whom they are protesting exactly what they want. And though there is a solid set of ideals behind these protests, the actual protests are imprudent, offensive, and ineffective.

The SlutWalk campaign champions the rights of women, and the basic premise of their events is to bring attention to women’s rights by any means necessary. They aim to stop the persistent blaming of victims of sexual assault for the crimes committed against them and to protect women – and more specifically protect sex workers - by normalizing and desexualizing the female body. However, the creators of the event made one major mistake on the most important premise of debate when planning their protests. The message that they want to bring to the masses is lost on their audience. In an attempt to empower women to reclaim the female body and humanize the female breast, the organizers of SlutWalk formed an international movement where women walk scantily clad or even topless through major cities around the world and protest against inequality. however these women are giving the misogynistic men who ogle, disrespect, and sometimes assault women more ammunition to be surly and unkempt.


“SlutWalk” is the physical manifestation of an ironic dichotomy. The problem that these women are trying to address with their protests causes the opposite intended affect on the people whom they are trying to get their message. They need to find a better way. The message of SlutWalk is simple and profound. Breasts, clothing, and even overt sexuality do not cause rape. Rapists are the only cause of rape. And though that sentiment is completely true, rapists do not commit their crimes because of the sexualization the female body. Rape is about power, and generally those who commit sexual assault were victims of assault too. The women behind the cause are well-intentioned, but the men who will actually listen to their protests generally do not commit crimes against women. The men who these protestors are attempting to reach do not respect women because they do not respect themselves, and women exposing their bodies to these men will not help their cause. SlutWalk could actually be exacerbating the problem that they are attempting to solve. This is the problem with angry, overzealous feminists attacking perceived slights against women.

Feminists are so wrapped up in yelling their message publicly that they often fail to see what is right in front of them. Their message is flawed at best, and stupid and grossly irresponsible at worst. It is idiotic to put your body on full display to protest against the people who take advantage of women who show their bodies. It is ridiculous to try to reason with criminal deviants. And, it is pointless trying to change an established culture by using only shock and awe. SlutWalk attempts to fix a problem that has been systematically entrenched in our society over the course of history by exposing themselves instead of working to expose the problem. The feminists behind the event should spend their time and resources creating legislation that helps their cause and getting people who are sensitive to their cause in office rather than showing their boobs and yelling at people who only showed up to ogle them.

Girls You Will Date in Your Lifetime

15 Apr

angry bitch02

By William Bixby

Before any man can settle down with the “Right” woman, he has to date a few of the wrong women first. They are all completely different and completely necessary to a man’s maturation. These women teach men lessons about both the fairer sex and about himself. They help him to grow into the man that can be a loving father and a doting husband in the future. These women are a necessary part of every man’s life.

The Innocent Girl - You met her in elementary school and you eventually ended up being high school sweethearts. She was the archetype of sweetness and innocence. You were always met with affection and adoration when you were around her. She baked cookies for you with her mom, and you were as much a part of her family as her own brother. In fact, you and her brother played ball together even when she was not around. Your parents and everyone near you thought that the two of you would get married, buy a house with the proverbial white picket fence, and have a few rosy cheeked kids. You were so in love.

Why you broke up: Either your high school sweetheart went to college and became a total slut, or you went off to college, and suddenly she seemed a bit more immature than the girls that were at your university. She called you crying about how you were neglecting her, so you did the only that you could do in that situation. You ignored her even more. Way to go Mr. Sensitive.

What she teaches you: This woman teaches you that love is not always enough for a relationship. You genuinely care about her, but as you have matured, you have also realized that love is not always sustainable.


The Earthy, Environmental Girl - She dresses a little bit different and is into hobbies that you have never considered trying. She likes to watch movies and listen to alternative music. She reads books about that are about socioeconomic politics and their affect on governmental policy. You did not know that those books existed before her. This young woman is cerebral and comfortable in her own skin. She shows you a few things that you never thought that you would like. But, she is also decidedly counter-culture and not into her physical appearance.

Why you broke up: You met a hotter, more high maintenance girl. Why? Because boobs, that’s why.

What she teaches you: She teaches you to keep an open mind. You learned that attraction can come in any form. The earthy woman appeals to your mind as much as she does physically. She also teaches you that you are a little shallow, and that physical attraction has some weight too.

The Girl You Hate - This woman is a real bitch. When the relationship is good it is absolutely unbelievable. The sex is mind-blowing. She knows exactly what to say to stroke your ego and how to make you feel like a man. Unfortunately, she usually completely ignores your ego and spends her time saying the exact thing that she knows will hurt your feelings or piss you off. This woman is both angry and miserable, and she will not rest until you are too. The entire relationship consists of emotional battles and make-up sex followed by bigger arguments. She is the most mentally unstable person that you know, but it takes you a year to figure that out.

Why you broke up: Seriously, she was a total bitch.

What she teaches you: Who not to date.


The Rock Chick - She is one tough chick and she likes good music. *She is emasculating and brutally honest, but she is also fun to be around and never goes overboard. Unfortunately, she gets tired of you and starts dating a guy with a blue mohawk.

Why you broke up: Spike, her new boy toy, could kick your ass.

What she teaches you: To grow a pair, because no woman wants to date a guy that she thinks she can beat up. Part of being a boyfriend or a husband is being a man that can lead when necessary. And, no woman will follow a man that they do not respect.


The Party Girl - You meet her out and go home for some good old-fashioned drunken sex. Sometimes, life is about the simple things. Sometimes she kisses her girlfriends when she has had a few drinks, sometimes they all grope you. Life is good. Your entire relationship is one club after another followed by an after party. Your days all mesh together into one big celebration of absolutely nothing. And, that is the point. She is fun.

Why you broke up: You had spent a few months together before you realized that your best times together are in a cloudy haze. And then, she started trying the hard drugs.

What she teaches you: She teaches you how to hold your liquor and what her girlfriend’s underwear looks like. And, she also shows you that even drinking, partying, and sex gets old after a while.


The Freaky Girl - You name it and she is willing to try it with you. She has a whip hanging over her headboard and a few toys hiding under her bed. She is into watersports, bondage, role playing, and any of the nastiest things at the tip of your imagination. She is completely open sexually and you happened to meet her at the right time. Her marriage was too constricting and her divorce was reason enough to start openly experimenting with her sexuality. Nothing is off the table with her.

Why you broke up: No sane person keeps a ball gag and a whip in their top drawer. This woman is crazy, and crazy women are by far the best in the bedroom. However, you realized that the S&M chick is usually not the one that you marry.

What she teaches you: What you like and dislike in the bedroom, and what a “hot carl” is.

The “I’m Like One Of The Guys” Girl - You probably met her in your first year of college and the two of you were just good friends. You hung out over the years and built a real friendship, and then one day, after a lot of drinks, you slept together. You can talk to her about anything including other girls. She cooks for you, occasionally does your laundry, and cleans up behind you. Strangely, she can carry the conversation by herself and cracks jokes (funny ones). If she were actually cute, you would marry her.

Why you broke up: You never were really in a real relationship with her. Things got weird after the sex, and you both vowed to just be friends.

What she teaches you: That women can actually be fun and funny outside the bedroom. You did not realize how much more there was to attraction than appearances.


The Daddy’s Girl - She expects you to pay for everything. It is the least that you can do to get her attention. She expects for you to pay her bills for her. She is your girl isn’t she? She does not have a job, but drives a fully loaded Benz. She lives in one of the family homes rent-free. No matter what you do for her, it is not close to enough because her father has supplied her with everything that she has ever wanted.

Why you broke up: In essence, she was married to her father.

What she teaches you: That there is little difference between a gold digger, a high maintenance woman, and an entitled princess. And, to avoid them all.


The Girl You Should Have Married – This woman embodies all the good traits of the women above, and does not have any the personality traits that are deal breakers for you. She may not be the most beautiful woman in the room, but she is gorgeous to you, and her personality makes her even more attractive. You laugh together, you share similar values, and you have similar goals. She comes from money, and her parents call you son. The two of you communicate well together and you trust each other. She is the perfect woman for you.

Why you broke up: The relationship staled. Nothing was necessarily wrong with her, but things became boring. Maybe you got cold feet. Maybe you slept with her best friend. Either way you knew that she was not the woman for you.

What she teaches you: Even when things seem perfect, they may not be right for you.


All of these women prepare you for the love of your life. To some, dating seems like an exercise in futility. They believe that there is no one out there for them, but that is not the truth. If you have not found the person who makes your days better and keeps you warm at night, then just keep looking. All your bad experiences are shaping you and readying you for the relationship that will change your life.

*First sexist statement of the year. YAY!

More Reasons Men Are Stupid

11 Apr

dumb and dumber

Men are great at a lot of different things, including but not limited to peeing while standing upright, drinking until blackout drunk, and propagating world peace through aggressive violence and planned genocide. But, they also fall short in a few areas. Men have trouble apologizing, they are undeservedly entitled, and they are often over-opinionated while being under-informed. Men run the world, but they can be idiots. Here are a few more reasons that prove their idiocy. man woman arguing04 1. Because We Argue with Women No man has ever truly won an argument with a woman, because men can not win verbal contests against women. Women are better communicators armed with more words than men. Yet, men continue to engage in emotional conflicts with women despite plenty of evidence that proves the exercise to be futile. First, any argument with a women can be transformed from its original foundation in logic to an emotional battle at any moment. You can be completely right about the sentiments that you are arguing, unknowingly hurt the feelings of a woman, and have to apologize for unintentionally hurting her. Second, even if you get a woman to admit that she is wrong, she will hold your triumph against so stubbornly that the victory does not feel like one at all. Winning means nothing when a woman can cry or question a man’s penis size and essentially create a stalemate. No man can truly be happy when the woman of the house is not happy. So, arguing with women is stupid.

 fat guy speedo

2. Because We Have No Self-Awareness 300 lb. men who are equally as wide as they are tall walk around the beaches shirtless, hitting on supermodels relentlessly. These guys have no idea that a supermodel might be out of their league from just a physical standpoint. Guys with no job and unrealistic career goals expect to live in a dream house with a nice car, a wife, and kids. Men have no idea how the real world works. They very rarely have a clear physical and emotional understanding of themselves. Either their worth is tied to extraneous objects and they come off as self-absorbed, pompous jerks, or they are completely deluded and have inflated egos despite not having much going in their favor. smug02 3. Because Men Are Never Wrong Men can not admit ignorance. We have to know everything. Or more appropriately, we have to have you think that we know everything because some part of any man’s identity is tied directly to his ability to answer questions. The solutions that we extend to the people that question us do not have to be correct. They just have to be given confidently. Men are fully willing to give out the wrong information to anyone as long as they are also allowed to give the appearance of being knowledgeable to everyone. dick pics 4. We Send Dick Pics Seriously, there is no reason to ever send an unsolicited dick pic to a woman. If a lady wants a visual of your penis, then she will request one. Surprise dick pics are only allowed from men to other men.

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5. We Need Toys Men never really grow up. We get more responsibilities, and sometimes we make better decisions, but ultimately we are kids at heart. And, kids need toys to satiate themselves. The playthings get more expensive with larger bonuses and bigger paychecks, but what is a Ferrari other than a child playing with the best entertainment that his money can buy. Does anyone need a car that can go from 0-60 mph in under 6 seconds? No. There are very few groups of people who completely understand the correlation between horsepower, torque, and traction, and nearly all of them are involved in racing or physics. But, that does not stop millionaires from buying expensive cars that they can not drive. Men are stupid.


6. We Take Risks Scientists would say the cause is excess testosterone. Philosophers would say the cause is socialization. But, whatever the reason, men take more risks than women. You never see women hit a pipe against a wall, stare at the pipe, and then hit themselves in the head with the pipe. You never see little girls look at a chin-up bar, break into a full sprint, and then attempt to swing a full circle around the bar only to fall head first onto the ground. You never see women break into fistfights because someone insulted them, stepped on their shoes, or ignored them. Guys are wired differently, and the wiring is faulty.

Guys That You Should Not Date

10 Apr


Ladies, I’ve been giving advice to friends about dating since my teenage years and the same people make the same mistakes with seemingly the same guys. Under no circumstance do you date these men. They will not make good friends, lovers, or even associates. We will start with the most obvious choice.


1. The player - One woman is never enough for this fellow; he has enough love to go around. If he’s made it to 25 he also has enough kids and STD’s to go around. He is probably tall and good-looking, and he will talk to you and any other attractive girl that is around. Some players aren’t handsome, but they are financially secure and very charismatic. Regardless of his looks or bank account, he is always on the prowl. He’s an insatiable flirt around cute girls, but seems to really be into you too. A player can be difficult to figure out. Ladies, this is done purposely. When you talk to him, it’s magical. He always says the right thing and seems like he can’t wait to see or talk to you again. The intimacy is spectacular. Only, you almost never see him and he never calls. Confusing right? No, it’s actually pretty simple. He calls and spends time with someone else. He’s playing you and some other women too. It really is this transparent, if a guy likes you, he makes time for you.

2. Mr. Self-Centered - Does he take longer than you to get ready? Does he still not know your best friend’s name after a year of being around her and after vacationing with her and her boyfriend? It never seems like he’s listening, right? That’s because he’s not listening. He is too involved with himself to worry about your affairs. You just exist in a world that revolves around him. It doesn’t mean that he does not like you; it means he loves himself more than you could ever know. Unfortunately, your love for him is expendable.

“No, I can talk.”

3. The Male “Friend” - This is a myth ladies. It’s a fairy tale, like the Tooth Fairy, Big Foot, and a smart supermodel. The male friend does not exist. IT NEVER HAS; IT NEVER WILL. If he’s your friend he wants you. He’s just waiting for the right opportunity. How did you meet him? Let me guess he came up to you. Probably said, “You seem really cool/ nice/sweet/awesome/ whatever, we should hang out sometime.” When you told him that you have a boyfriend, he told you it doesn’t have to be more than a friendship, right? It is more than a friendship to him, ladies. When you have a flat, who is there with coffee and a tire iron? He isn’t. Your boyfriend is there. When your boyfriend screws up, who is the first to call? Your “friend”, saying how terrible your boyfriend treats you. Male friends are just auditioning for the role of boyfriend. He is waiting until you are the most vulnerable and broken up with your man to say, “Why don’t we give it a try?” If he’s really good, he’ll quickly follow that with, “we shouldn’t, I don’t want to mess up our friendship. You’re just so cool/nice/ sweet/awesome/whatever.”

This shows is your male friend is thinking about your friendship.

4. The Bitter Guy - His first girlfriend cheated with his best friend and all the women he has dated and will date will pay for it. He’s belligerent and mistrustful or sweet and a bigamist. The mission of the bitter guy is to avenge his ego. A liaison with him will be the worst relationship that any woman could have. His pain forces him to push you away.


5. Mr. Insecurity - Mr. Insecurity comes in two forms, the man obviously lacking confidence and the deceitfully insecure man. And, either man is completely undesirable.

A. The Man Nag - “Where have you been?” “Who were you with? I was worried about you.” “Are you okay?” This obviously insecure man has millions of questions for you daily; not because he is genuinely concerned about you, but because he does not want you to leave him. He has a poor self-image and can’t understand why you would want to be with him. And because of his real or perceived shortcomings, he will nag and worry you until you finally do leave and then appropriately blame himself for it.

B. The Jerk - This guy talks incessantly about your imperfections in public and private. He is outwardly the most brash, cocky, arrogant guy that you’ve met at first. His self-confidence drew you to him. But, after a few months you realize that the confidence that you saw when you first started dating was a cover for very low self-esteem. He is belligerent, belittling and just a bad person. The only way he thinks he can keep you is by lowering your confidence and self-esteem through verbal warfare.