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Porn Is for Kids

3 Sep

porn is for kids03

fifty shades of grey2

No one really makes anything as well as they used to make it, and unfortunately porn is no exception.* The pornography of this generation pales in comparison with the smut of yesteryear because no one makes porn solely to entertain now. It has become a vehicle for making a lot of fast money in the entertainment industry instead of serving as the guilty pleasure for which it was formed in years past. The porn industry has become a multi-billion dollar entity in the last decade, and advances in technology have made “adult film” more accessible than it has ever been. American males ages 18-35 have always pushed the standards of the industry, and their interests are now influencing the way that adult films are being made and changing popular culture. Because of the popularity and accessibility of modern pornography, adult stars have become mainstream stars. The forays of porn stars into the public market have been encouraged by the leaders in the industry because more exposure generally means more marketability which leads to more money. Money influences the producers, the producers choose the directors, and ultimately, the directors decide what type of movie will be made. Simple economics are destroying the essence of the business. The artistic direction, the choice in performers, and the way that the porn stars perform have changed to accommodate the kids who are watching porn. Porn is no longer for adults.

The new artistic direction of adult movies belies the shift in the focus and the intended audience for the pornography industry. The older generation of porn watchers demanded good sexual performances and a layered storyline in their movies. Those movies had a plot, well-developed characters, and a wide variety of sex. The film was as much about the story as it was about the sex, and because of this older generations became endeared to their adult film stars. This emotional connection that pornography connoisseurs made with performers spawned several full series of adult movies and spin-offs in earlier years. And, it humanized its performers which gave more credibility to the storyline.

The newer generation of pornography watchers reside in a different era of technology that is full of movies without plots. Advances in technology have allowed quicker access to specific parts of the movies and have rendered story lines obsolete. The rise of digital video discs, or DVD’s, altered how porn is viewed. Prior to the change in medium, men either watched the entire adult movie on video tapes and were forced to rewind and fast forward manually to watch the sex scenes. This meant that the entire movie had to be compelling in order for people to watch them. With DVD’s and now Blu-Ray discs, the current patrons of adult cinema can not only skip any dialogue that may be in the movie, but there are also menu options to pick each specific sexual act in every scene. This type of specialization caters to immature people. There is no delayed satisfaction and there is no buildup of the story to a climax. In fact, there is no real movement towards any climax. There is only the kind of instant gratification that children seek in porn today. The lack of any prominent story proves how much pornography has transformed to accommodate a younger crowd. Porn has become about sex instead of being about entertainment.

plastic porn stars

In line with the changes in porn towards less story and a faster introduction into sex, the actors in porn also began to be streamlined. Porn stars looked and acted like real men and women in the olden days. As a direct result of the new younger audience that the industry is trying to attract, porn has become commercialized. Therefore, its performers have become gross caricatures of real people rather than a reflection real human beings in real life situations. In the swinging seventies which is often called the Golden Era of Porn, the performers looked like real people because they were real people. The women had hips, natural breasts, and body hair. Some women were slight or petite of frame and some were voluptuous. Some women were beautiful, and some were average. But, each woman in any given scene gave a passionate performance, and each woman in an adult movie served as representation of some woman that existed in everyday life. Now, the women in porn might as well have been put together on an assembly line. They are all carbon copies of one another with manufactured moans and paltry performances in their scenes. Almost every woman in porn is a 5’3″ twenty-something year old with a tiny waist and huge fake breasts. There is constant parade of buxom blondes for the main porn crowd and thin brunettes to appeal to the people that like exotic women. Outside of the occasional naturally large chested woman who takes the adult video world by storm and then disappears within a year, there is no variance in the appearance of female performers. And, regardless of how attractive any woman is in the industry, if she lasts long enough, she will succumb to plastic surgery. Women are subjected to the scrutiny of teenagers who have no conception of what real women look like in the nude. Their idea of the female form comes from airbrushed pictures of physically enhanced women. And, the men in pornography have suffered a worse fate. The men who once came in different heights and weights with faces that varied from handsome and clean-shaven to mustached and homely are now faceless, muscle-bound men who finish on command. The men who once had personalities, like Ron Jeremy, the hedgehog, are currently nameless talent who will be replaced as soon as their penises stop working, the women in porn stop requesting them, or fans get tired of seeing them. Men in the sex industry have become completely interchangeable and replaceable. Men and women in pornography used to play varying roles in their movies and sell their charisma and personality. Now, they are a myriad of indistinguishable pieces who have no personality or authenticity because the new generation of porn users desire “perfect” performers. Pornography is being mass produced to appeal to children by showing exaggerated ideals of the human form.

Because the landscape of porn and its performers have changed, the type of sex that is had has changed too. Sex on film barely resembles sex in real life now. Adult film from time periods past generally gave a variety of different types of sex scenes which mirrored the way that people have sex in their private lives. There were a plethora of scenes with different types of sex in them. There were romantic scenes where the actors kissed, caressed, and seemed to have genuine romantic chemistry. The sex in those scenes were slow and languid like the sex between two lovers who were comfortable together and completely intimate. A different couple in the same movie would have passionate, boisterous sex that pantomimed the sex that new lovers who could not wait to be with each other had once they were alone. Some couples just made out in those films with some heavy petting and oral sex, and some people just talked. In older adult cinema there was a cerebral approach to the most carnal act that a human being could do on camera. Now, gonzo pornography has replaced almost all of the genres of adult cinema besides the parodies because the act of sex has become available to an audience that has not experienced it. Kids think that intercourse is just thrusting and orgasms, therefore sex is only depicted as close-ups of (pun intended) balls to the wall banging. These scenes are made for people who are sexually inexperienced. They only want to see close-up penetration in a scene, and directors are now catering to them. However, people who have had regular consensual sex with another human being are more interested in the act of sex. They want to see how people react to each other in the throws of passion. Adults want to see the emotion on the actors faces because those expressions relay what the person involved in sex is feeling. Sex to an adult is about connection and intimacy. Adults care about variable angles because they want to see how a woman’s body moves mid-coitus. The jiggle of a woman’s hips is just as important as the swaying of her breasts to mature audiences when they watch these movies. And, showing sex scenes from several viewpoints allows the appreciation of the female form in different positions. This was the mark of an artist behind a camera. Porn has always been fueled by a director’s efficacy at filming the woman’s ability to engage with men onscreen and thus entertain the people who are watching at home. But, adult films are no longer about skillful enactments of sexual acts between to consenting adults. Today, pornography is only a series of video clips showing random boobs and full-frame penetration. The kids who are driving porn are ruining it.

Adult movies have transformed into a very divergent form of itself over the last generation. Though the basis of the films is still sex, the audience and the focus of the movies have undergone many distinct changes. The types of movies that are filmed, the people who perform in those films, and the way that they engage in intercourse have all been altered to accommodate the burgeoning crowd of adolescents that have started watching pornography. And, the entertainment and cinematography of the industry has suffered because of it, despite great advances in technology. The porn industry has turned away from its roots in entertainment to satisfy a younger crowd who become disinterested with everything in a heartbeat. And, if there is not a drastic change in their approach to enticing consumers, they will find that they have alienated both their old audience and their new one.

*Of course, no self-respecting red-blooded American man would engage in casual porn observation, so all commentary in this article is a result of a dedication to extensive research on the subject rather than a lifetime of degeneracy.


Why Do Men Like Big Breasts?

2 Sep

why do men like breasts

Men’s obsession with big breasts has been chronicled throughout history in countless different civilizations. In ancient Africa sculptures of full-figured, large chested and wide-hipped women were rendered to honor their fertility goddesses and hopefully bring about healthy offspring. Bigger women were preferred by their male suitors and they held higher status within their tribes. Many cultures in Africa today still prefer women with a little more girth than the average woman across the world, especially the Nigerian culture. Similarly, in Victorian England, women with slight builds were considered sickly, unattractive, and of a lower class. Pictures of the women of high society and even the pictures of the brothels, show the preferences of men towards larger women and their affinity for big breasts. Once again, fuller-figured women were the standard of beauty. Today, the conscious of society has shifted towards glorifying smaller frames, however, when asked and given anonymity, men still prefer women with a voluptuous build and more importantly, big boobs. Though most men say that a “C” cup is the perfect sized breast, studies and even common culture prove otherwise. Christina Hendricks’ figure matches the prototype for the aforementioned fertility sculptures and her body type has been represented in both of the previously mentioned time periods and in recent popular surveys of the most attractive women. Why are men so infatuated with big breasts?

There are many evolutionary and social theories as to why men like large mammaries. Men may like big boobs, because they are socialized to like big boobs. From a young age, men are taught by their peers to objectify women. If a woman with big  breasts enters a room full of men, they will ogle her and make lewd comments to her or between themselves regardless of how attractive the entire package actually is. The common man’s first interaction with the opposite sex is often made with a pack of their peers close behind in the context of public setting like a school dance. Acceptance from his peers influences this person’s likes and dislikes both emotionally and sexually. During the latter formative years, a sense of belonging is necessary for proper development. From a social standpoint, men could desire larger breasts because approval in their social circles dictates that they like them.

A quaint, evolutionary theory behind men’s obsession with breasts is that they closely resemble buttocks and our ancestors mounted their mates exclusively from behind, giving breasts a special appeal. People are driven by three basic drives, hunger, sleeping, and sex. Since sex is one of the stronger desires, it is reasonable to infer that from a biological viewpoint, some attraction to breasts would be based on inherited, primordial desires. Larger breasts more closely resemble buttocks than smaller ones, so they would be preferred. Furthermore, big breasts are a sign of higher estrogen levels, which indicates fertility. This theory suggests that predilection towards ample bosoms lies within intrinsic, ancestral preferences. Mens’ proclivity towards big breasts could be inherent in their sex drives.

A divergent, but equally intriguing conjecture was created through the life’s work of the world’s most famous psychoanalyst, Sigmund Freud. Freud’s Oedipal Complex, states that young boys are sexually attracted to their mothers and seek to usurp their father as her husband. Freud bases his theory on a child’s base need for emotional connection. Babies bond with their mothers through the constant nurturing and attention that they receive in their first years. They rely solely on their parents and are fed from their mother’s breast which further strengthens that maternal bond. By Freud’s estimation, females look to their mother for guidance into becoming a woman, but males become jealous of their father’s position in the family structure. They are taken from the breast (when they are no longer nursing), subconsciously believe that they are removed from their connection with their mothers by their fathers which causes jealousy and contempt. Freudian disciples postulate that, because men are deprived of their mother’s breast, a symbol of their affection and their connection, the male children become affixed to it. The denial of access to that the original source of physical and emotional nourishment causes an infatuation with the female bust that can remain through adulthood.

The final theory on the mens’ complete obsession with big breasts combines evolution, biology, and socialization. Humans are social creatures, and are one of a few animals that practice pair-bonding or monogamous mating. Attraction to breasts is quintessential for men if this male to female bonding is to take place. When touching, kissing, and caressing a woman’s breasts oxytocin is released into her system. This hormone is the same hormone that flows when a woman breastfeeds and it promotes feelings of love and bonding between people. Oxytocin is a neurochemical that relaxes the amygdala (the defense gland which produces the fight or flight response) and bolsters the mating process. It increases trust between men and women and reduces their stress levels. Our closest animal relatives monkeys, specifically bonobos, gibbons, and tamarins practice sexual touching even without the promise of intercourse. This gives insight into the practices of our ancestors. Paying close attention to breasts may have been important to building relationships in pre-human man. Men may be fascinated with breasts because their fascination with and manipulation of breasts helped to bond them to women.

There are countless ideologies of why men like big breasts, ranging from social, to mental, and even physiological. Different people use diverse, complex conceptualizations to explain a fairly lucid phenomena. Men like big breasts because men are simple creatures. Whether the internal reason is male to male socialization, evolutionary links to male-female bonding, or subconscious maternal attachments, ultimately men like big breasts because they look nice on an attractive woman.


What If Tim Tebow Was Black?

30 Aug

black tim tebow

With the impending restart of Tebow’s football career as a quarterback in the National Football League, we at AnswersFromMen.com decided to run the this article again. From September 20, 2012, we give you what would happen if Tim Tebow were a Black man.

Very rarely is it a good idea to broach the subject of race in any public forum, but this question was posed by a few readers who regularly read the “Ask A Black Guy” columns. Rather than referring this one to one of our resident African American correspondents, AnswersFromMen.com decided to ask one of our Caucasian writers the same question. Somehow, he arrived at the same answer about Tim Tebow.

Let me start by saying that I am a fan of Tim Tebow. Though I do not like how often religion is thrown around a sports arena whenever Tebow is present, I definitely respect any man with the type of conviction that Timothy Richard Tebow has displayed regularly since his college days at Florida. And, the man is a winner. Yes, winning is a function of how talented and productive the rest of your team actually is, but in the waning moments of any game Tebow makes the necessary plays.

However, the question that was posed was, “What if Tim Tebow was Black?” or more to the point, “How would Tim Tebow’s career be different if he was Black?” I firmly believe that Tim Tebow would have a completely different career if he was a Black man. He has some major shortcomings as a NFL quarterback though he continues to get chances to play that position. Tim Tebow is not an NFL quarterback. He is too inaccurate. He is too unsettled in the pocket. He is too far along in his football maturation to change the parts of his game that can make him a good quarterback. The only reason that Tim Tebow is still being given a shot as a pocket passer in the league is because he is a very handsome, very Christian White man.

America by and large is a conservative, Christian nation. We believe in the God, we believe in hard work, we believe that everyone is special, and we believe that every man, woman, or child has the right to pursue his or her dreams. And, Tim Tebow is the embodiment of the American dream. He is chastened to his morals. He is a dilligent worker with immense talent. And, he is following his dream. Americans, especially most White Americans, see themselves in him. And, I see a little bit of him in me. Older men and women remember the purity of their career goals when they first began their adult lives. They see a man that they would want their daughters to marry, and a man that they would want their sons to emulate. Children see a role model who always tries to do the right thing regardless of how difficult it may seem, and a person who chases his dreams with wild abandon. Tebow’s peers know him as a tireless worker and a fierce competitor on the football field. He represents the ideals of the working class, the aspirations of the middle class, and carries himself like a superstar without the attitude and self-absorption. By all accounts from which people are measured, Tim Tebow is a great man.

However, Tim Tebow is not a great quarterback. Tim Tebow has a career pass completion percentage of 47.3% ,and no starter in NFL history has thrown for a completion percentage under 48% since the 1965 season. Only 5 players have ever passed the football at a lower completion rate than Tebow. JaMarcus Russell, a strong armed Black quarterback who could not get his receivers the ball in the league was out of the NFL after three seasons. Tebow’s race plays a large part in his public perception and his acceptance in the NFL. Michael Bishop, a prolific, strong-armed Black quarterback from Kansas State entered the NFL as an athlete because no one believed he could be a NFL QB. He was out of the league in a year. One of the better wideouts in NFL history, Hines Ward, was converted from quarterback once he left Georgia. Pat White of West Virginia completed 64.8% of his throws in college, passed for 56 TD’s, and ran for 47, but has been a gimmick player at best for his one year in the NFL. People compare Tim Tebow to Kordell Stewart (another Black quarterback) when they want to validate his position as a running quarterback, but there is no comparison. In his worst season as a pro, Kordell Stewart completed 50.2% and scored 7 touchdowns in 7 starts. In his best season, Tebow completed 46.5% of his passes with 12 touchdowns. Kordell Stewart has two seasons of 3,000+ passing yards, and in his best season he was an All-Pro,  completing 60.2% of his passes with 14 passing TD’s not including his rushing scores. Kordell Stewart, an All-Pro, spent his first few seasons playing running back because no one believed that he could be a NFL quarterback. Warren Moon of the Houston Oilers spent the early years of his career in the AFL because no one believed that a Black quarterback could lead a team. Moon went on to have a Hall of Fame career as a quarterback, and is one of the most prolific passers to ever play the game professionally. Though Tim Tebow is one of the most public figures in football over the last two years, he does not even compare favorably to an average quarterback in league much less a Hall of Fame guy. His pass completion percentage is the lowest since Akili Smith’s 44.2% for the Cincinnati Bengals in the year 2000.  Who is Akili Smith, you ask? Akili Smith is who Tim Tebow would be if he was black. Akili Smith is a quarterback that could not get his receivers the football, and was kicked out of the league in two years. He was woefully inadequate in the pocket and the Bengals removed him from the field despite taking him with their first pick. Unfortunately for Akili, he does not have Tebow’s skin color or personal convictions.

If Tim Tebow was not White, he would not be a backup quarterback in the NFL. He would be forced to play tight end or running back where he could utilize his skills and actually flourish. Tim is big and athletic. He is quick and decisive on his feet. But most of all, he is difficult to tackle. He has the talent to play in the National Football League, but he does not have the arm to do so. And, if Tim Tebow was Black, the rest of America would have realized that already.


Love, Date, or Screw for Women

29 Aug

Attractive woman being courted.

By William Bixby

Attractive woman being courted.

Women are very complex creatures, and attempting to completely understand women is an exercise in futility. However, there are a few tangible behaviors that you can predict from most ladies when they are looking for a man. Most women dress more desirably when they are trying to attract a man. The sexy lady in her slinky, black dress with the low neckline and high heels is attempting to get some attention. But, she is also assessing you. When a woman meets you for the first time, she is interpreting what type of man you are through all the subtle intentional and unintentional cues that you give her. She is observing your clothes, your demeanor, your temperament, and a myriad of other verbal and non-verbal behaviors that give her insight into who you are as a person. Inevitably, you as a man will fall into at least one of these three categories with any woman that you meet, the love category, the date category, or the screw category. Each of the three divisions is comprised of a list of desires that every woman has prioritized according to her needs. And, every heterosexual woman wants a man to fill each of these categories. Women have decided whether you are a friend, a romantic partner, or a booty call within moments of meeting you, and how you carry yourself dictates how she will see you. So, you have to sculpt the image that women observe if you want to be successful with them. Though the woman that you pursue ultimately decides what she thinks of you, you can influence her decision by using your abilities to your advantage.

Whether they admit it or not, women need companionship, and most women connect more easily with men than they do with other women. Being a girl friend is difficult and carries varying expectations of both parties involved. Women expect other women to sympathize with them, side with them loyally in confrontations, be available at all times, and to regularly connect emotionally with them. However, being a guy friend is relatively simple in comparison. All a guy has to do to befriend a woman is listen to her and be useful occasionally. However, once a man becomes the friend of a woman, he rarely becomes anything more. When a woman begins to confide in you about other men, she has stopped considering you as a potential mate and started treating you like one of the girls. The love category is the friend-zone, and it is a death sentence to any sexual relationship. Super conservative, introverted men live in the friend-zone. If you are naturally attentive and maybe even a little docile, then you may be seen as a pushover by the opposite sex. But, your sensitivity can be used to your advantage. The kindness that you naturally display to women endears them to you more readily. Your passive personality might stop you from coercing your female friends into seeing you as more than just a friend, however women are naturally comfortable with you. So, use your amenity with the ladies to create romance rather than just friendship. One of the most important moves that you can make with a woman, especially if you are not naturally aggressive, is to kiss her if you have any chemistry with her within the first few dates. That kiss sets the tone for your relationship together. It shows your intentions with her, and allows her to see you in a romantic light as opposed to the friendly shadow that you normally cast over relationships with women. A kiss asserts that your expectation with her is romantic rather than friendly, and it shifts her original  impression of you into a more physical realm rather than an emotional one. Sensitive men have to distinguish themselves as sexual beings so that they are not cast as a substitute girl friend in a woman’s mind.

The date category consists of a different type of man than the sensitive man from the love category. This man shows responsibility and good earning potential immediately, but lacks some key attributes of the date and screw categories. The man who is cast in this category may lack raw sexual appeal, but they are generally handsome and friendly. They show some of the attributes of the man that falls into the love category, but fancy themselves more of a provider than a friend. Date guys may be nurturing and amiable, but their main strengths fall toward stability and responsibility. This man will be the anchor of his future family. He has a stable job with a good salary. He is punctual, polite, and well-groomed. Unlike the pushover from the friend zone, the provider is decisive and confident. He knows his worth in a relationship and usually has no trouble getting dates. And if he stays in the dating pool long enough, then most dating category men will eventually get married. However, this type of man often lands in short-lived relationships because of their priorities. A guy who is never considered as more than a candidate for dating usually values his career above family life. He is often not a woman’s first choice as a mate because his job takes precedent over his personal life. So, if you are a man who dates regularly, but you seem to lose a lot of women that interest you, then you must begin to show any future woman that you meet how important they are to you. Your tendency is to distance yourself from women with whom you could potentially build a future, because you are trying to build your own career. Put some of the hours that are dedicated to working from home to conversing with the woman that you adore. You will find that when you listen to her and give her your time, you will be more fulfilled than you could ever have imagined. Transforming a woman’s perception of you from a person that she could date to a person that she could love is as simple as giving her the amount of attention and dedication that she expects.

The screw category is self-explanatory. There are men that women want to befriend, there are men that women want to date, and there are men that women only want to screw. This category is based on raw attraction, and it is the home of the bad boys.  Any woman will tell you that within moments of meeting a man, she knows if there is any chance that she will be intimate with him. Well, some guys have a natural disposition that is attractive to women (and it does not hurt if they are handsome too). These men exude confidence that borders on arrogance, and are extremely comfortable around women. They have a demeanor that women are drawn to. If you as a man have ever been manipulated into having sex with a woman, and then dismissed after the deed was done then you may be a screw guy. If you have ever wondered why women only seem to call you between the hours of midnight and 2 A.M., then you are definitely a screw guy. There are obvious perks to being a man to whom women are physically attracted, but ironically, the drawback to getting lots of sex from multiple is being lonely. There is a sad irony to being a man who is surrounded by women but emotionally isolated. Just like being stuck in the friend zone, being stuck in the “fuck” zone is condemning. It may sound cliche, but the answer to negating this loneliness is by trying to connect emotionally with a woman before sleeping with her. When there is a raw attraction between people, especially in this era, people tend to sleep together before they get to know each other. Slowing down and courting a woman before the two of you are intimate allows her to have the appropriate amount of time to fall for you as a person rather than falling solely for your sex appeal. Taking a slow approach to dating is the solution to having unfulfilled, empty sexual relationships. Men who sleep with a lot of women should seek to know them before bedding them.

Most men only serve one or two of the purposes for women when they are in a relationship. But, the men that want fulfilling, happy relationships should work to be more well rounded in their interactions with women. Knowing how you are perceived by women and striving to find the attributes that you are lacking make you a better partner for the person that attracts you.